Of Love, Lies and Murder
by Lur27
Summary: Beckett's demons come back to haunt her while the team investigates an intricate case. As everything unfolds, our dynamic duo will have to deal with their feelings and the secrets they've been hiding. Caskett-y goodness starts on chapter 5.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello again, my dears! I'm back with a brand new story. This time it's a collaboration with my friend 'Purplewaters' (Tumblr). I came up with one idea and she made up all the plot. I just had to add it some drama and type it out. I've had a great time writing this first chapter and I'm sure I'm also going to enjoy those that are still to come.

This story is intended to be a 'narrated episode' of Castle, which means a full developed case and, of course, lots of Caskett-y moments. We hope you enjoy the reading! :)

**DISCLAIMER:** _**We own nothing but the words below**_.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1.<strong>

The chill of the night had fallen over the city of New York, still hauling the low temperatures of the late winter. The back door of 'The Jack of Diamonds' opened to let out one of its finest customers. The man walked along the deserted alley, trying to keep himself upright using the walls on both sides of the path. He stopped a second, the buzz of the whiskey blurring his vision. When he looked up again, a dark figure was standing in front of him, he could see the low lights of the street reflecting on the glasses he or she was wearing, he couldn't tell if it was a Jane or a Joe.

"Hello?" he said. Nothing.

The strange silhouette took something out of its pocket and suddenly, everything went black. Breathing became impossible and his eyes refused to stay open.

A couple of minutes later, one of the most distinguished citizens of the Big Apple died in a dark alley with three gunshots to his chest, falling over the trash bags piled beside the back door of a club.

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><p>The night was being busy at 'The Jack of Diamonds', a club where people with too much money spent their engorged salaries on poker games and other bets. Most of those people had a name in the community and the privacy policy of the club was ferrous. Some of the clients had their own 'security forces' in the shape of brainless, almost ever drunk thugs.<p>

Two of the goons got a little too carried away that night with a meaningless dispute, letting their guns show and taking the party to the back alley.

"You're dead, you fucking bag of shit!" one of them yelled with an alcohol-drowned voice.

Goon number two walked closer to his offender, taking his gun out of its holster and pointing it towards him. "Yeah? I'd say it's you who's dead, you asshole!" he said, pulling the trigger twice.

Despite the fact that he was less than seven feet away from his target, he failed the shots, hitting the wall of the other side of the alley.

Due to the shock, the guy who was the target of the shots tumbled backwards, falling over a mound of trash bags. When he tried to stand up again, his hand found someone's cold fingers tangled with his own. He let out a yelp, finding himself in the standing position far much faster than his buzzed brain felt comfortable with. He and his attacker looked at the lifeless body lying there between the rubbish bags and wastes; they shared a frightened look and ran out of there before anyone could see them.

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><p>It was 4:30 am when Detective Beckett's phone came to life, driving a low groan out of her mouth. She had been rolling back and forth all the time since she had gotten into bed almost four hours ago, praying to the gods for a body-less night. No such luck. Her stupid body was exhausted, it had let her know of it during the day, making her grumpy and slow, but when she gave up and let it rest, it took revenge on her, making the night a long and maddening torture.<p>

She picked up the insulting device and put it to her ear. "Beckett." She let out with a throaty voice. "Mhm… Yeah, ok… I got it… I'll call him, yeah. See you in half an hour."

She ended the call before pressing the speed dial to her partner's phone. She knew he wasn't going to be happy having to leave his warm bed at this hour, but she didn't care. If she had to get up, he sure as hell had to get up too.

"These people don't have any kind of respect for our sleeping cycles." He grunted as he picked up his phone.

She couldn't stop the smile that curled her lips. "Yeah, you're right. Psychos should learn that it's much better killing people in daylight." She retorted.

The writer let out a chuckle. "I'll be downstairs in ten, coffee in hand." He said.

"All right. Make mine a double." She told him before hanging up.

Fifteen minutes later detective and writer were on the Crown Vic riding their way to the crime scene.

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><p>Lanie Parish was hovering over the body, wrinkling her nose due to the smell of the trash bags the man was lying on. She was fine with the smell of rotten skin and decomposing bodies, but the smell of common rubbish made her nauseous. Talk about irony.<p>

The ME was leaning in to take a look at the bullet wounds when a voice startled her. "Hi, Lanie. What do we have?" Kate asked.

"Jesus, Beckett! You want me to join Mr. Still here? You almost killed me, girl!" The doctor snapped at her friend.

Kate lifted and eyebrow and looked at Lanie quizzically. "A little prickly today, aren't we? You ok?" She asked, concern dying the detective's words.

"Yes, fine. Sorry about that." The ME said, waving her hand in the air as if trying to erase the last two minutes. She turned to look at the body again. "White male in his fifties, around six feet tall. Three gunshots to the chest." She said, pointing to the three entrance wounds on the man's torso with her pen. "I guess you don't need me to ID him for you?"

Beckett walked closer to the dead man to take a look at his face. "Ronald Lazzaro. What was a man like him doing here?"

"Probably losing his copper to another Richie Rich. This is a well known place among the New York's finest." Castle informed them.

Beckett looked at him with a smirk. "Oh, really? And how do _you_ know about it?"

The writer gave her a glare through narrowed eyes. "Funny!" He said, and turned to Lanie. "Can you tell us the TOD?" Castle asked.

"Well, he's not too cold so I take it that he's been dead for no more than 6 hours. I'll tell you something more accurate later. But there's something weird. I think the scene has been compromised. The body was somehow pressed against the bags, like something had fallen over it, and the blood is smeared all over him." Lanie told them.

Castle's face contorted into a grimace. "That_ is_ weird." He said.

Beckett nodded. "Yeah. It's not like the killer would take the time to do that, but who knows…" She shrugged and said goodbye to Lanie. "Ok, let's talk to the boys, see what they know."

Castle and Beckett walked inside the club where Ryan and Esposito were talking with the customers and staff. The place was big, a long bar on one side and several poker tables sprinkled in the diaphanous room. There also was a huge TV screen hanging from the wall with some tables around it.

There were not many people left in there. Beckett's guess was a general stampede when they heard the sirens getting closer. She walked towards Ryan, who was talking to a tall guy with glasses and dyed white hair.

"Hey!" She said, making the young detective excuse himself from the man to talk to her.

"Hey! I don't have much." Ryan said reviewing what he had written on his notepad. "Lazzaro was a regular. He came twice or thrice a week, drank some whiskey and played poker. Mr. Hill there, saw the vic. walking out the back door around 1:00 am. He never came back."

Beckett nodded. "There was nothing that could make him think anything was wrong?"

"No." Said Ryan shaking his head. "He says that Lazzaro drank a little more than usual last night, but he seemed to be fine when he left."

"Ok, I'm going to talk to Espo-…" She was cut mid sentence by the view of Castle taking down a big frame off the wall. "Castle, what the hell are you doing?" She asked, walking towards him.

When Kate got near him, a disappointed Rick greeted her. "Nothing. I had heard that there was a secret safe hidden behind a painting in this club. They say the first owner, Lazlo Trovatelli, hid his fortune there."

"Seriously?" She couldn't fight the skepticism that showed in her voice. "Secret safes and hidden treasures, Castle? Again? Don't you ever learn?" She asked rising her eyebrow.

He gave her a shy smile. "Yeah, you're right."

While Castle put the frame back on it's place, Beckett left to talk to Esposito.

"Hey, Espo. What do you have?" The detective asked.

Esposito walked closer to her. "Well, a uniform's told me that they were called because someone heard gunshots around 3:30 this morning. The witness swears there were just two blows but our victim has three bullet wounds on his chest." He paused to take a look at Beckett before he went on. "I talked to one of the bar-men. He says he saw a couple of guys fighting around that time. They took it out of the club after the manager told them to get the hell out. Maybe things got tricky and Lazzaro was caught in the middle?" He asked.

Beckett pursed her lips and shook her head. "No. Ryan says Lazzaro left the club at one."

Ryan interrupted them. "Ok, I know where Lazzaro was before he came here. There was a private party at the Waldorf last night. The host was Daniel Taylor, the 'boss' of Wall Street."

"A great occasion for the King to be surrounded by the rest of the nobility." Castle added.

Beckett rolled her eyes at him before she spoke. "Ok, you and Espo go back to the precinct and start tracking down those guys the barman told you about. Castle and I will go have a word with the 'King'." She told the boys, putting on a funny face.

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><p>They had to wait for a while until Taylor's maid opened the door to them. It was barely six in the morning and the woman looked like she had been dragged out of her sweetest dream.<p>

"Good morning." She said. "May I help you?"

Beckett showed the woman her badge and introduced themselves. "Hi. I'm detective Kate Beckett and this is my partner, Rick Castle. We need to talk to Mister Taylor."

The woman shook her head furiously. "No! Mr. Taylor is in bed. I can't disturb him now."

"Look ma'am. I understand you don't want to disturb your boss, but a man is dead and we need to ask him some questions. Could you please tell him we're here?" Kate was starting to get pissed.

The maid turned around, leaving the door open for them to come inside. She disappeared through a corridor and left them there.

It took Daniel Taylor over thirty minutes to grace them with his presence. The Wall Street tycoon appeared through a mahogany door, wearing an expensive robe and looking perfectly wakeful, given the hour it was.

"Morning, detectives." Taylor said with a rasp tone. "I've been told you needed to talk to me. I take it that this couldn't wait until a more reasonable hour?"

Beckett moved closer to him. "I'm sorry about the inconvenience, sir. We're here to ask you some questions about Ronald Lazzaro. We've been told he attended your party last night."

"Lazzaro? Yes, he was there. Why? Is he in any kind of trouble?" The man asked, more worried about his own reputation than about what could be going on with his 'friend'.

Castle looked at Taylor through narrowed eyes. "He's dead." He said.

Taylor gulped. "Dead? Ronny? Wow, that was unexpected. I always thought he would hit the papers when someone discovered his gambling problem, but this…"

Kate tilted her head to the side. "Did he tell you about any kind of problem with people of ill repute? Lenders, mobsters… Money problems?" She asked.

"No. He played poker and hit the casinos regularly but his bank account was perfectly fine. I don't think he was involved with that kind of people." Taylor explained. "You should talk to his assistant, though. I'm sure she knows better than me."

"We will." Beckett assured him. "Now, could you give us a list of the people attending your party last night? We are going to need to talk to them."

"All of them? There were over two hundred people at that party." The businessman said skeptically.

Castle smiled. "We know. We have time and we're keen to know all that they have to say."

Taylor gave him a death glare and nodded. "Ok, I'll go check in my office. I'm sure my assistant left a copy of the guest list for me there. Wait a minute, please." And he walked away leaving Castle and Beckett alone in his living room again.

Castle turned on himself looking around. "The guy's a jerk but we can't deny he's got good taste. Look at this place!" He said admiring the paintings that hung of the wall.

Beckett smiled, checking the room too. "Yeah. I've read he's a connoisseur of art. No wonder that his living room looks like a museum."

After a couple of minutes Taylor came back with a thin stack of papers in his hands. He handed it to Beckett and walked them to the door.

"Thank you, Mr. Taylor. We appreciate your cooperation." Beckett said, before walking out of the luxurious apartment.

They made their way back to the street and towards the car, walking side by side. Beckett was checking the papers while she walked and Castle had to stop her before she ran into a parking meter.

She looked up a little and blushed. "Thanks." She mumbled, and shook his hand off her shoulder. "We should head to the precinct and divide the work with the boys. It's going to take a while to interview all these people."

"Yeah, you're right. Maybe we could get something to eat on the way back? We're running on just one coffee and my stomach is starting to eat itself." Castle whined.

Beckett chuckled. "Ok, Castle, but just if you get me a bear claw and another coffee. My caffeine levels are dropping drastically. "

"That's a given, detective." He said with a grin, as they got into the car and made their way back to the 12th.

TBC.

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><p><strong>AN:** Love it? Hate it? Let us know by clicking the 'review this chapter' button and writing your opinion :) Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hiya! Back here with a new chapter. My apologies in advance if the medical jargon is mistaken. I am not a doctor and to be honest I don't have time to do research to write a fanfic... I did my best at that regard.

I want to thank my partner, Purplewaters for her help with all this. She's being wonderful and SO patient with me! Thank you, girl! My thanks go too to Docnerd89, who made a good and constructive critic and helped me correcting some of my grammar mistakes on chapter one. Thanks for helping me improve :) Thanks too to all of you reading and reviewing and adding this to alerts and favs. You're great!

We leave you with the chapter. Have fun and enjoy! :)

My apologies in advance for the grammtical errors, typos and whatever you may find in there. All my fault!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2.<strong>

Castle and Beckett arrived at the precinct provided with coffee, varied pastries and some information. It had taken them a little longer than they thought to get back to the precinct. The boys had had the time to find new leads and greeted them with good news.

"Hey, guys. You got something?" Beckett asked, handing each of them a cardboard cup.

Esposito nodded his thanks and walked towards Beckett's desk with them. "Actually, we do." he said, pausing to take a sip of his coffee. "You remember that Hills told us there were two goons fighting at the club last night? We found one of them. Ryan and I are going to get him now. Did you find anything at Taylor's?"

Beckett waved the stack of sheets she had in her hands. "Just the guest list to his party."

"He wasn't very pleased to see us." Castle added.

Kate scanned the pages with a quick glance. "There are over two hundred people here… Grab a phone and sit down, Castle. This is going to take a while." She said taking a big gulp of coffee and reaching for her chair. She looked back at Esposito, who was already leaving with Ryan. "Hey! Let us know when you get back with the suspect."

"You got it!" He yelled, as the elevator doors closed.

The task of calling every single person on Taylor's guest list was, to say the least, tedious. There was something about rich people that made talking to them personally almost impossible. Why would they answer their own phones when their maids could do it for them?

By the time the boys were back with their suspect, they had only spoken to a couple dozen people.

Ryan met them at their desk. "We had to arrest him. He ran from us and he was wearing a gun." He informed them.

"Smart boy." Said Kate, sarcastically. "Do you guys mind if we run the interrogation? If I have to talk to another foreign maid who doesn't speak English, I'm going to have to shoot myself." She stated.

Ryan laughed and handed her the folder with the information they had gathered about the guy. "Sure. We'll take over the PBX for a while."

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><p>Jason Miller was sitting on a plastic chair in the interrogation room. His expression was dark and he seemed preoccupied. His hands were playing with one another; letting his nervousness show, and his legs were shaking.<p>

Castle and Beckett walked inside the room, taking their respective seats in front of the suspect.

As always, Beckett took the lead. "Mr. Miller, I've heard you're having a busy day. You had a fight at a club, ran from the police, were found with a gun on you… Anything else you want to share with us?" The detective asked.

The young man didn't look up from a spot on the table he surely found very interesting. "No." He replied.

"Really? Nothing? I don't know, maybe you had something to drink, you lost your nerve and killed someone, for instance?" Castle pointed. "Yeah, I know. Not a thing you would want to tell anyone, right?"

That brought a reaction from the guy. "I didn't kill anyone! I shot that moron, but the other guy was already dead."

"Well, we will know that soon, Jason, cause we're comparing your gun with the bullets we found on the body, so I hope you're not lying to us. Things can get pretty hard for you if you are." Beckett tried to threaten him.

Jason looked directly into the detective's eyes, making clear he was not scared. "Look, I'm telling you the truth, ok? That piece of shit of Gomez was fucking with me. We started fighting and when things got nasty, Hills told us we should better take it outside, so we went out to the alley. I got a little carried away and pulled my gun out and shot the bastard. I was very drunk and failed, but he fell backwards and it turned out that he landed over that body. When he stood up we ran the hell out of there. That's what happened. I didn't kill anyone." Miller finished.

"Mhm. And at what time was that, Jason?" Beckett asked, while she took notes on her notepad.

The man took his time to think. " We were watching a basketball game, so it must have been after 3:00 am. It was some foreign league the big guys bet on. I don't know."

Castle leaned on the table before he let out his next question. "Do you remember seeing Mr. Lazzaro at the club last night?"

"Yeah. He was there playing poker, as ever. Why?" Jason asked. His eyes widened when realization hit him. "He's the dead guy? Oh, man! I liked him, he was legal." He said sadly. "Who would kill him?"

Beckett closed her notepad and stood up from her chair, making a gesture for Castle to follow her. "That's what we're trying to find out, Jason."

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><p>The four of them were back at their desks engaged with the never-ending phone calls. They had talked to over a hundred people already and none of them could tell them anything about Lazzaro. Some of them didn't even remember if they had seen him or talked to him at all that night.<p>

Ballistics came in by lunchtime. Miller's gun wasn't a match. The bullets they had found on Lazzaro's body were 9mm and Miller's weapon was a 38 caliber. They were back to square one.

It was late afternoon when they hit a new lead. A woman who had attended Taylor's party had seen something. Lazzaro had been arguing with a woman at the party and they seemed pretty mad at each other. She had heard them talk about a divorce and money and something about a pre-nup contract.

When Ryan asked the woman if she knew the lady talking to Lazzaro that night she laughed. "Of course I know her, dear. And probably you know her too. It was Amanda Whitman, Leonard Whitman's wife. Everybody knew she and Ronny were having an affair." She said.

Having taken note of that and with Whitman's address in hand, Beckett and Castle left to talk to their new suspect.

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><p>The Whitman's owned a wonderful attic with views to the park in the Upper East Side. He was the president of 'WF' one of the most important brokerage companies in the country and everybody knew his most feared rival was 'Trade House Inc.' incidentally, Lazzaro's business. Now it seemed he had something more to lose to his rival than money.<p>

When Castle and Beckett arrived at Whitman's attic they were taken to his office. The man was in his sixties but he still was attractive. Beckett could tell he had been a heartbreaker at a younger age. He was sitting at his desk, looking at the paper and talking on the phone with someone named Peter.

Beckett knocked on the door's frame to let him know they were there. "Good evening Mr. Whitman. Detective Beckett, NYPD." She waved her hand towards her partner. "This is Richard Castle. Could we talk to you for a minute?" She asked.

The man made a sign to let them come in and sit, but kept talking with Peter for a while longer. "I'm sorry. With this crisis I'm lucky if a have a minute off. The markets are going crazy." He said when he hung up.

"We were here to talk to your wife, but your maid told us she's not home?" The detective taunted.

"No. She left last night. Her niece is getting married tomorrow in Chicago and Mandy's sister needed some help before the wedding." He offered. "Why do you want to talk to her anyway?"

Beckett answered him with another question. "She was seen last night at Daniel Taylor's party at the Waldorf. Is that right?"

Whitman nodded. "Yes. She's friends with Brenda, Daniel's wife. She invited her."

"You didn't go?" Castle asked a little intrigued.

"No." was Whitman's only response.

"And you're not going to your wife's niece's wedding either. Seems to me that you and Mrs. Whitman don't spend much time together." The writer shot back. He could see Leonard Whitman was getting a little nervous.

The man glared at Castle and turned his face to Beckett. "What do you need to know, detective? Cause I assume you're not here to talk about my marital problems."

"Mrs. Whitman was seen talking to Ronald Lazzaro at that party. They were arguing about something." Kate said.

"And why is it important that she was talking to that rat?" The man asked.

At that comment Beckett put on her daring face and said, "Because that '_Rat' _Mr. Whitman, was found dead this morning."

Whitman's eyes went wide in disbelief. "Wait a minute, Lazzaro is dead?" He started laughing and stood up. "I don't believe Mandy has anything to do with that, but I can't say I'm sorry. He had it coming."

Beckett gave him one of her trademark glares and pursed her lips. She reached into her pocket and took out a card. "Make sure your wife get's in touch with us as soon as she arrives in the city. We need to talk to her." She said handing him the card. "Thanks for you help, Mr. Whitman." Then she shook his hand and left.

Already in the street she let out her anger. "I hate these kind of people." She said.

Castle arched an eyebrow worried, somehow taking it personally. "Millionaires?" he asked.

"No. The people who get happy about someone's death. It's just creepy." She said with a grimace of profound dislike.

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><p>Back at home and after having dinner with his family, Castle cloistered himself in his study with his smart board on and a million papers covering his desk. He had been very busy with Beckett's investigation since the Mayor's case. After what happened then, he thought maybe he had been looking at the wrong places this whole time. He had been searching for dirty cops, someone related to Raglan or the others, who could direct him to the 'Dragon'. Now he was looking in another direction, searching newspaper archives and any kind of documented footage about politicians during the kidnappings and around the time of Johanna Beckett's murder. He didn't know if he was right, but at least he would try.<p>

A little after midnight the door to his study opened and his mother came in.

"You're still going around that?" Martha asked truly concerned. She knew her son, he was a passionate man and all that drove him was his love for his partner, but as good as his intentions were, she knew keeping that secret was going to cause more bad than good.

Castle turned around from the screen to look at her. "Yes. I think I could be onto something. I'm not sure yet."

The actress walked closer, putting a hand over her son's shoulder and squeezing a little. "Do you really think you should be doing this, Richard? It's dangerous. These people won't care about who you are if they find out what you're doing, darling. And you have a family." She told him.

Rick put his hand over hers and gave her a sad smile. "I know. But I owe it to her. She needs this, mother. The closure. And I want to give it to her."

Martha touched the screen making everything vanish. "You talk like you don't know who Kate Beckett is, Richard. She needs closure, but not like this. How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out? Grateful? She's Beckett, darling. If they don't kill you, she will."

The writer shrugged and turned the screen on again. "At least she will be safe."

TBC.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thanks for reading. Please let us know what you think, no matter what it is. We're always open to constructive critics :) So, Review!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **So, surprise posting today! I wasn't planning on doing it, but well, we have the actual real thing tomorrow, so why wait, right? Here's the next chapter. We hope you guys enjoy.

My thank's to Purplewaters (my partner in crime :P), who read all this before I posted it and checked my grammar. Thank you pal! (If you still find any mistake in there it's all my fault!). Thanks too to Docnerd89 who checked chapter two and helped me correct my grammar and typos. I really appreciate your help! :) And of course, thanks to all of you reading, reviewing and adding this story to alerts and favs. :D

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><p><strong>Chapter 3.<strong>

Castle made his entrance at the 12th with two coffees in hand at 9:00 am the next morning. When the elevator doors opened, he found Beckett standing on the other side. She took her coffee from his hand and walked inside the metal box, pressing the button that made it go back to the lobby.

"Lanie called." She simply said to her astonished partner. When he didn't stop looking at her she added, "I asked Smith to call me when you got here."

Castle smiled relieved. "I thought you were leaving without me." He said with a nervous laugh.

Beckett frowned at him. "Why would I do that?" she asked surprised. It was stupid, but that silly comment had hurt.

The ride to the morgue was short and silent, both partners absorbed by their thoughts and sipping on their coffees.

Lanie received them in her office, handed her report to Beckett and made them sit down so she could explain every detail to them.

"I can't give you a lot more than we already knew. He died from a gunshot to the heart; the other two didn't reach vital organs. He was shot from a distance. I'd say around 35 to 40 feet. I can estimate the TOD between 12:00 and 2:00 am. His last meal consisted on some canapés and champagne and lots of whiskey. I didn't find drugs or any kind of substance in his blood. Apart from those three holes in his chest, he was a very healthy, fifty two year old man." The ME finished her exposition.

"So, we know exactly the same as before…" Beckett said rubbing her forehead. "You said at the crime scene that you thought something had fallen over him. Could it be a man? There was a fight in the alley that same night." Kate asked, trying to at least have something new to add to their murder board.

Lanie thought for a minute and took out some pictures from her desk. "Now that you say it…" She showed them a couple of photographs of Lazzaro's body. "See these marks here? I couldn't figure out what they were, but now that I look at them, they could be knuckle marks… The pressure on the body was huge so it had to be something - or someone - heavy, at least 200 pounds. It broke some ribs and it surely was post mortem, there was no bruising or internal bleeding." She added.

"That's what I call bad luck. He's shot, left dead surrounded by rubbish and on top of that, a guy falls over him and crushes his chest… Not a nice way to go." Castle said.

"Not indeed." Lanie added. "You can take these pictures too, if you want." She said, handing them to Beckett, who took them and put them into the folder the ME had given her before.

The detective smiled and nodded. "Thanks. We have to go. With luck maybe we can find something else to work with." Before they walked out the door the detective turned to her friend. "Hey, what are the plans for tomorrow? Don't think we've forgotten about your birthday!" She said with a wide smile.

"Ow! I didn't have time to plan anything. Lately I feel like I live in here…" Lanie replied a little irked.

Kate gave her a sympathetic smirk and added, "Well, that's ok. We can go to The Old Haunt for some drinks after work. Right, Castle?" She asked her partner with a look she knew would melt him.

The writer smiled and nodded strongly. "Sure! It'll be fun. It can be just dinner, some alcohol and us. What do you think?" He asked.

Lanie gave them a warm look, thankful for having such great friends. "That sounds amazing, guys. Thank you." She said a little moved, but she composed herself and added. "Get ready to party, you two. This will be my first night out in months and it has to be perfect!"

Kate laughed. "Ok. Don't worry, we'll be the soul of the party." She joked.

Castle looked at her surprised and nodded, waving Lanie goodbye as they walked out the door.

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><p>Back at the precinct, Castle and Beckett spent their time adding the new pictures to the murder board and looking at it as if it was going to start talking and spilling the murder secrets any minute.<p>

They were both frustrated. There was nothing they could work with. Every lead seemed to die as soon as they started following it, and it was maddening.

* * *

><p>The boys, on their side, went to interview Lazzaro's assistant. The woman was devastated. She was crying all the time, and it was hard to understand what she said between sobs and tears.<p>

"He was such a good boss, you know?" Lana Waters said. "He never yelled at me. Do you have any idea how important that is? I've been working as an assistant for fifteen years and he was the first boss who always treated me with respect." the woman added sobbing uncontrollably.

Esposito rolled his eyes at Ryan before the blue-eyed detective talked. "Yeah, Mrs. Waters, we understand he was a wonderful boss, but what we need to know is if he had any enemies you knew about. Someone who would want to hurt him."

The assistant frowned and took a deep breath. "I guess Leonard Whitman would qualify. Their companies are like Apple and Microsoft, and everybody knew Mr. Lazzaro was having an affair with his wife. They weren't very subtle, you know."

"Ever witnessed any confrontation between them?" Esposito asked the middle-aged woman, who was now trying to fix her make-up.

Mrs. Waters took her time before she spoke again. "Now that you mention it. A couple of months ago there was this party, some fundraiser for the Children's Hospital. Mr. Whitman attended with his wife, but after a while she disappeared. When he found her she was with Mr. Lazzaro. Whitman went mad, he yelled at them in front of everyone… It was embarrassing."

Ryan took note of everything. "Could you hear what he yelled at them?"

Waters laughed. "You had to be deaf not to hear it! He only said 'You're a bitch! Doing this in front of our friends, in front of investors. How dare you do this to me?' Now that I think about it, he never talked to Mr. Lazzaro." the woman added.

"So he didn't threaten Lazzaro in any way?" Esposito asked.

"No. No, I guess he didn't." Mrs. Waters stated.

Esposito rubbed his forehead before asking the next question. "We've heard he had a gambling problem. Do you know anything about that?"

Waters shook her head. "He did play poker and he loved spending weekends in Vegas, but it wasn't a problem. He never risked more than he could afford. When he was winning he knew when to call it a night and leave before his luck changed, and I've never seen him lose more than a couple of thousands. They bet a lot of money on those games, two thousand dollars are just small change for those people." The assistant explained. "He played because he liked it, not because he was addicted."

Ryan closed his notepad and stretched his arm to shake the woman's hand. "Thanks for your help, Mrs. Waters. We really appreciate it given what you're going through."

Waters shook his hand and Esposito's and nodded. "My pleasure, detectives. I just hope you find the bastard who killed him."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the precinct Beckett and Castle had been called to Gates' office to brief her on the case. The captain was pissed at the lack of evidence and she was starting to get anxious. Lazzaro was an important citizen and the press was doing its job, driving the woman nuts.<p>

"I can't believe we have nothing after a day and a half investigating this. There must be something you've missed." The captain stated.

Beckett's hands turned into fists. "We've checked everything, sir. Ryan and Esposito are talking to his assistant right now and we're waiting for Mrs. Whitman to come back from Chicago to interrogate her."

"And do we know when she's coming back?" Gates asked, her tone rising.

Castle swallowed. "No, sir. Her niece's wedding was today but we don't know if she's heading home right after it."

Gates let out a breath slowly and closed her eyes. "Ok. Let me know if anything comes up. We need to solve this case right away, detective. The press is getting eager and I need to give them something soon."

Kate pursed her lips and nodded. "Yes, sir." And she walked out of the office followed by Castle.

When they stepped into the bullpen there was a big turmoil. Officers and detectives were forming groups, everybody looking concerned and angry.

Beckett stopped an officer passing by her. "Hey! What's going on?" She asked.

The officer's eyes went dark and he shook his head sadly. "It's Gordon's wife. Karpowski's team was called an hour ago. They found her in an alley close to their apartment. Someone stabbed her to death and took her purse."

Beckett put a hand to her mouth to muffle the gasp that came out of her. "Oh, my God! That's… Oh, my God!"

The officer nodded in agreement and left, leaving the two partners standing there. Kate's legs started to feel weak and she felt her lungs become smaller with every breath she took. She felt Castle's hand on her back, making her walk towards her desk.

"Are you ok?" the writer asked. He was worried, she could tell. He knew exactly what was going on in her head.

She only nodded. Her voice was nowhere to be found and her hands were starting to shake. She stood up again, giving Castle a fake 'calmed' look to reassure him. "I need a minute. I'll be right back." And she left to the bathroom.

Once at the ladies room she pressed her forehead to the cold tiles. She stood like that for a minute until she decided to splash some water on her face. Her hands were shaking horribly now and she could feel the panic attack approaching. _Not now_. She thought. _Please not here_. She leaned against the wall and let herself slide down to the floor, taking deep breaths and trying to hold her hands still. _Breathe, Kate. Breathe. It's ok. It'll be ok._

When she finally came out most of the people were back to their jobs and Ryan and Esposito were back. They were talking to Castle, probably letting them know about Gordon's wife. She took another deep breath and walked towards them, gaining strength with each step.

"Hey, guys!" She greeted the boys, trying to sound as composed as she could.

"There you are!" Esposito said. "We were going to send a rescue team to the bathroom" The detective joked to lighten the mood.

Kate laughed and nudged him with her elbow. She knew they were avoiding talking about Gordon on her behalf, and she was so thankful for it. "I haven't been there for so long." She whined in play.

Castle was looking at her, his concerned blue eyes seemed to be glued to her face. She looked back at him and smiled. _I'm fine, Castle. I know you're here if I need you. _She tried to say with her eyes. He seemed to understand, because he tore his eyes from her and his expression softened a little.

"Ok, guys. Did you find out anything? We need to give Gates something soon if we want to live past this case." Beckett told them.

Ryan shrugged and grimaced. "Sorry, we have nothing. Only that he and Whitman weren't big friends and that Lazzaro's relationship with Mrs. Whitman was not a secret to anyone. Her husband caught them together at a party a couple of months ago. He made a scene but he never threatened Lazzaro in any way."

Kate rubbed her face with both hands and let out a puff. "We're walking in circles. We need to talk to Amanda Whitman as soon as possible. She's the only thing we have right now. Let's pray she can give us something."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day went by slowly, every hour feeling like a whole day itself. They checked every single lead, print, bullet, picture, everything they had, and they always ended up at the beginning.<p>

A little after seven Beckett gave up and sent them all home. "We're losing our time here. There's nothing we can do until we talk to Mrs. Whitman. Just go home and have some rest. See you tomorrow."

The boys walked to their desks to gather their things and leave for the night. Castle stood by her side while she put on her coat and picked up her bag. They walked together to the elevator in silence, fulfilling what was almost a tradition between them after all this time.

Once inside the elevator he turned to look at her, concern reflecting in his eyes again. "I'm fine, Castle. Stop looking at me like I'm going to break any minute." She scolded.

"Sorry. I just… I know how this affects you. I don't want to meddle in you things, but I think you should talk to someone. I don't mean me, I know you would never tell me about these things, but you should find someone to talk about it." He rambled a little but he needed to tell her that.

Kate let out a breath and nodded. "Yeah, don't worry. I have that covered."

The writer frowned but didn't ask. He knew it wasn't a good idea and as long as she had someone to talk, he was fine with it. "Ok. That's good."

* * *

><p>When Kate arrived home, panic started hunting her again. She went to her study and opened the shutters of the window discovering her mother's murder board. She stood there for a while, looking at it but not seeing anything. Tears were rolling down her face and her hands were on fists.<p>

After long minutes standing there she reached for her mother's picture and tore it from the window, holding it tight against her chest and mumbling '_I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…_' She moved to her living room, making herself a little ball on her couch, with her mom against her heart.

When she run out of tears she looked at the picture, following her mother's face lines with her finger. '_I'll do it someday, mom. I'll get him. I promise_.'

Kate fell asleep on her couch with her mother pressed against her, veiling her slumber.

TBC

* * *

><p><strong>Please, I'm asking you, be kind and nice and leave a review for us. We'll be forever thankful! Yes?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** New chapter for you, beautiful human beings! (hint, hint) :P This one I'm very fond of. It took me a while to write it but I'm happy with the result. The case starts unfolding a little, but just a little…

Thanks to Purplewaters for her help and her patience. This story wouldn't exist without your great ideas :) Thanks too to all of you reading, reviewing and adding this story to favs and alerts. You ROCK!

I apologize for any grammatical errors, typos or misspells you may find. If you feel kind enough, let me know and I'll edit them. Thank you! :)

And now, enjoy the reading! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4.<strong>

At seven thirty in the morning, detectives Ryan and Esposito met at the lobby of the 12th. They said hello to Smith, who was taking a look at the paper when they came in, and walked to the elevator talking about the case they were working on.

When they walked into the bullpen they were surprised to see Beckett's slender figure leaning on her desk and studying the murder board. It was early and she looked like she had been there for a while.

Ryan went straight to the break room to make some coffee for his partners and himself, while Esposito walked directly to the female detective.

"Yo, Beckett! What are you doing here so early?" he asked leaning on her desk right beside her.

Kate smiled and spoke without taking her eyes off the board. "The same as you. I'm working."

Espo lifted an eyebrow and looked at her. "I've just arrived. How long have _you_ been here?" he asked, knowing she had been there for longer than she was willing to admit.

Beckett let out a long breath and bit her lip. "I couldn't sleep. I was going crazy at home doing nothing, so I came here."

"Ok. And when was that?" His eyebrows rose requiring an answer.

At last, she turned to look at him, a guilty expression on her face. "A couple of hours ago." Kate watched as the cop's face got bathed in concern. "Stop worrying about me, Javi. I'm fine." She smiled. "Seriously."

Ryan reappeared from the break room with three porcelain mugs in his hands. "Ok, guys, here we go." He said, handing them their coffees. Then he pointed to the board with his head. "Anything?"

Beckett shook her head. "No, but we received Lazzaro's financials and phone records today. We'll have to go through them to see if there's anything unusual."

The three detectives went back to their desks, splitting the work so they could go through it faster.

The morning went on, the bullpen filling up with the noises and the movements of officers and detectives all working together. The side of the bullpen where Karpowski's team was working on Gordon's wife's case was louder than usual; every cop in the precinct wanted to help and show their respect. Beckett couldn't help taking furtive looks their way, wishing she were strong enough to face Gordon – or even give him a call - to give him her condolences; or just go over there and offer Karpowski her help on the case. She just couldn't do it.

* * *

><p>Nine arrived unexpectedly fast, and Castle made his entrance with the ever-present cardboard cups in his hands. He was walking towards his detective when he spotted Esposito. He changed his trajectory to talk to the man.<p>

"Morning, Esposito." Castle said, brushing his elbow to the cop's shoulder.

The detective turned around a little startled but he smiled when he saw the writer standing right behind him. "Yo, Castle. What's up?"

Rick looked askance at Beckett and frowned. "How is she?"

Espo gave him a knowing look and smiled sadly. "She's been here since 5:30 am, so I guess she's not fine. Give her time, bro. This has to be tough for her."

"No, I know. That's why I'm asking you. I don't want to crowd her or start being overprotective. That'd only make things worse." The writer said.

Espo nodded. "Probably. Just let her be. She'll be fine." He said, patting Castle's shoulder and walking away.

Castle moved to Beckett's desk. She seemed abstracted, her eyes lost in space. He waved a hand before her eyes until she blinked. "Hey! Where were you?" He said handing her her coffee.

She looked up a little embarrassed. "Sorry. I was thinking. This case is driving me crazy!" She said taking the cup from his hand and brushing his fingers with hers, just because she needed the contact.

"Still nothing? I was hoping Mrs. Whitman would be back today…" Rick said, his breath caught, taking his place on his chair.

Beckett went on checking Lazzaro's financials, trying to hide the grin that grew on her face at his reaction to her touch. "Well, it's early. We can still get lucky."

* * *

><p>The day kept slipping away and they had nothing to work with. They had gone through Lazzaro's financials and phone records and they had found nothing. There were calls to Mrs. Whitman, but they already knew they were having an affair, so it didn't prove anything, and his financials were clear.<p>

It was long after noon when they got the call. Mrs. Whitman was back from Chicago and she was heading to the precinct to talk to them. She seemed pretty affected.

* * *

><p>Castle and Beckett received Amanda Whitman. She was in her forties but she looked younger, no surgery, though. - Castle thought Mr. Whitman had a good taste in women. - They walked her to the break room and made her take a seat while Castle made some coffee. They wanted to make it light, comfortable for her. - This kind of people tended to lawyer up as soon as you asked them their names. – So they had to make it smooth.<p>

Castle took his seat next to Beckett and handed Amanda her coffee. "Here."

The woman took a sip and smiled. "Thank you." She said. Her eyes were roaming around the room, not knowing what to do. "How did he die?"

Beckett put her hands together and pressed them to her mouth. "He was shot. It was fast." She saved the details.

"So he didn't suffer? Thank God!" Mrs. Whitman exclaimed. "I still don't know who would want to kill Ronny. He was a wonderful man."

Castle nodded. "Yeah, we're aware of that. And we also know that you two were _very_ close." he added, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could.

"There are some people who saw you and Mr. Lazzaro having an argument the other night at Daniel Taylor's party. It seemed pretty bad." Beckett let out.

Amanda's face turned into a grimace. She was trying to hold back tears. "Well, it was pretty bad. I was mad at him. I had been trying to leave my husband for months, and now that I had the evidence, now that I could do it without risking my money, he goes and tells me that it was too soon. That we needed more time." Her hands became fists on the table.

Kate frowned. "He didn't want you to leave your husband?" she asked.

"Yes, he did. He had been asking me to do it for a long time, but the other day… I don't know what happened. He said it was too complicated, that he couldn't risk his reputation. That this would be a bomb the moment the press knew about it and the way the markets were, he couldn't risk it. I was so pissed!" Whitman said.

Castle was holding his coffee and put it down on the table, leaning closer to their suspect. "How pissed?" he asked.

"Enough to leave to Chicago and not answering the 63 missed calls he made me." She replied. "I could never hurt him, if that's what you're implying, Mr. Castle. I loved him."

Beckett tilted her head to the right before going on with her next question. "You said before, you had the evidence you needed to leave your husband without losing your money, what did you mean by that?"

The woman let out a breath and rubbed her face with both hands. "I… Leo and I have a pre-nup contract. We made a deal, if either of us were caught cheating the other wouldn't get any money in case of divorce. He has known about Ronny and I since the beginning but I never asked to leave, so he didn't give it any importance. Three months ago I started noticing changes in his behavior. He was late from work, he spent more time at the club, he smelled different…"

"He was cheating." Beckett interrupted her.

Amanda nodded. "Yes. When I realized what he was doing, I couldn't be happier! This gave me the perfect chance to leave. If we were both proved of cheating, that pre-nup would be voided."

"Which means you would get half of everything." Castle finished.

"Exactly. I hired a P.I. He followed him around and took some pictures. It turned out to be one of his new assistants, a brilliant, very young, Romanian girl. I've seen her a couple of times, she's pretty." Mrs. Whitman talked about the girl as if she was some kind of angel.

"Would you get half the stocks to his company too?" Beckett asked.

Amanda smiled widely. "Of course!"

* * *

><p>They finished the interview feeling a little confused. They were sure that Mrs. Whitman had feelings for Lazzaro, but she had been mad at him when he died, and even though she was out of the city when he was killed, she had the means to hire someone to do the dirty job.<p>

Mr. Whitman was starting to point out as a very plausible suspect too. He had more than one reason to kill Lazzaro and he was obviously benefited by his death.

Beckett called the boys and told them to ask for both Whitmans' records. If there was anything going on it had to show in there.

"Check everything, from phone records to bank statements. I want everything you can get on them; If they spent two bucks more that usual I want to know when, why and on what. We're going to visit Mr. Whitman. Come on, Castle!" She said putting on her coat and walking to the elevator.

* * *

><p>The trip to the Whitman's attic was kind of awkward. Kate was trying to act as casual as possible and Castle was trying to show he didn't notice her efforts to hide her pain from him. Both of them were failing, but none of them was going to tell the other. It was safer that way.<p>

When they arrived to their destination, Anita, Whitman's maid, opened the door for them and led them to his office. This time the businessman was not there, and they were asked to wait for him.

A few minutes later, Leonard Whitman made his appearance, with a big cigar in his hand and the smoke following him around.

"Good evening, detective. Mr. Castle. To what do I owe this unexpected visit?" The man asked, sitting on his big, leather chair.

The smoke of the cigar was annoying Beckett, who tried to wave it away from her face. "We've been talking to Mrs. Whitman and she's told us some interesting things. Things that would have been very harmful for you and your empire, if Lazzaro hadn't died." She shot.

Whitman's self-satisfied smirk vanished. "What was that rat planning on doing?"

Castle looked at the man through narrowed eyes. "Not him, your wife. She knows you're having an affair, and you know what that means."

"She's told you about that?" He snorted. "Well, I knew that little whore was in it for the money. I'm sure she would have dumped Lazzaro the moment she found someone richer than him. They're all the same, you know?"

Castle's look got harder. "No, I don't." He said, sharing a glance with Beckett.

She spoke again. "So, Mr. Whitman, we were a little surprised when we realized how Lazzaro's death benefited you. It's really saved you a lot of money and the shame of being dumped in public for another man. Your worst enemy, no less."

The man laughed. "You can make all the conjectures you want, detective. I didn't kill the rat, but as I told you before, he had it coming. Now, if you don't plan on accusing me of anything, I have some phone calls to make."

Anita reappeared in the office and walked them to the door. Once outside Beckett started chewing on her lip, the way she always did when she was in deep thought.

"I still have doubts about both of them. I can't believe them. Those two are hiding something and I'm going to find out what it is." She said as they reached their car.

The moment they got inside the detective's phone started ringing. She picked it up. "Beckett… What did you find? ... Yeah. How much? … Ok, We're on our way."

She started the car and then briefed Castle. "It was Ryan. They've found something on Leo's financials. There are several monthly withdrawals to a secret account. They go back to last summer. They still don't know why or for what he made those transfers."

Castle wrinkled his nose. "That's weird…"

* * *

><p>Back at the precinct the boys told them that they hadn't been able to find anything else. There was no way to track that account and without it, it was completely impossible to find out what he was using the money for.<p>

Beckett was very suspicious about the couple and she decided to ask for search warrant to their attic. They still didn't have the murder weapon and maybe they would find it hidden at the pretentious Whitman house.

"Beckett, it's time to leave. Lanie's birthday, remember? She'll be mad if we make her wait." Esposito told her.

Kate nodded. "Yeah, just a minute. I'll fill the warrant petition and we'll be on out way, ok?

Castle put on is coat and was holding hers in his hands. "Come on, Beckett! Are you ready for some fun?" He asked with a grin.

She finished filling the petition and stood up, putting her arms into her coat as Castle, helped her. "Sure, you just keep the vodka coming my way and I'll be the soul of the party."

TBC.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Ooh guys! Lanie's birthday coming next! Don't miss it, it's gonna be good! :P

I dare you to leave a review! ….. Please?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hello there! This is a very special chapter, a little break from the case. As this is like a narrated episode, let's think about this chapter as a very fun, very sexy commercial break :P I hope you like it. I can tell you writing it has been SO very fun! For those who love the 'case' stuff, have no fear, we're going back to that on next the chapter.

As always thanks to Purplewaters for her brilliant ideas and her patience.

Also thanks to all of you reading, reviewing (I appreciate that very much) and adding the story to favs and alerts (also very appreciated). I hope you keep enjoying this :)

Again, my apologies for any grammatical error, misspell or typo you may find in there. I need some grammar lessons urgently!

Have a nice reading!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5.<strong>

When they arrived at The Old Haunt, Lanie wasn't there yet. The four friends got inside and greeted Bobby, the barman, who was busy toweling some glasses. The place was empty, except for them; Castle wanted it to be private, something intimate for just their little family. Martha and Alexis were coming too and Lanie had told Ryan to bring Jenny along.

Kevin's wife arrived a few minutes after them. The young woman said hello to everyone before kissing her husband, handing him a small bag with a gift for Lanie. "It's a silver necklace. I think she'll like it." She told Ryan.

Beckett smiled. "Oh, I got her a pair of earrings. She loves that stuff." She reassured Jenny.

They drank some beers and talked about work, holidays, Ryan and Jenny's honeymoon... And when they were engaged on a heated conversation about spear fishing, Lanie, Martha and Alexis walked through the door.

"Hey, everyone! Lanie said with a huge smile. "So good to see you here." And they all stood up and made a line to kiss the birthday girl.

* * *

><p>Rick had managed to offer them a selection of almost any take out they could imagine and had the barman preparing cocktails for them. After they were done eating, Bobby divided his tasks between preparing delicious beverages and Dj-ing, attending every one of Lanie's requests.<p>

Castle and Beckett were the only ones left sitting on the booth while the others danced to Sinatra's 'Under My Skin'. Kate was drinking her cocktail and staring blankly at the wall in front of her, while Rick was trying to figure out what was going on in her head.

Lanie was dancing with Esposito, trying to keep the cop at a reasonable distance. – which, by the way, was resulting fairly difficult -. They were still at an unknown place in their relationship and she didn't want to give him any hopes. She pointed towards Beckett and Castle with her head. "So, how are those two doing?" She asked.

Esposito shrugged. "What do I know? She's all smiley lately but they don't seem to get any closer… I don't know what they're waiting for, chica. I'd like to win that bet when I'm still young to spend the money."

Lanie narrowed her eyes in thought. "Ok, so maybe I can give them a little push." The doctor walked to the bar and called Bobby. "Hey boy, come here." She talked to him for a minute and then approached the booth where her friends were sitting. "Ok, you two! This is a party._ My_ party. And I want you to dance. Come on!

Beckett gave her friend a glare and refused to move. "Kate. Up. NOW!" The EM barked.

The detective stood up reluctantly and followed her partner to the side of the lieu were the others were dancing. Castle turned to her and put his hands on her waist. She tried to fight the jolt of electricity that run through her spine and walked closer to him, putting her arms around his neck. They swayed to the music awkwardly, both feeling observed and weird. None of them could understand how being in each other's arms could make them feel so uncomfortable.

Martha, who was dancing with Alexis, making the girl laugh with some story about her youth, looked at them with a broad smile. "Aren't you two a cute couple?" She almost yelled at them.

Beckett blushed deeply and hid her face in the crook of his neck, but that was a bad idea. She could smell him there, sweat and cologne mingled into an irresistible mix. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and taking him in. In the meantime, Castle was giving his mother the deadliest of glares, blushing a little himself.

They kept dancing in silence, he counting the steps and trying not to step on her feet and Kate trying to make her legs respond and keep her steady.

The song ended but a second later the next begun. It was 'Un-thinkable' by Alicia Keys. Kate knew that song too well and her eyes went wide the moment she heard the first notes playing. When Castle turned them around on their dance, she spotted Lanie, who was giving Bobby her thumbs up. She should have known her friend had something to do with it. She had told her about how that song reminded her of her situation with Castle. How she wanted it to make sense for her.

Alicia sang her beautiful lyrics; words that made Kate feel stupid and so freaking small listening to them in his arms.

"_I know u said to me  
>"This is exactly how it should feel when its meant to be"<br>Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually  
>If we gonna do something about it<br>We should do it right now"_

That part of the song stabbed her in her very core. Why couldn't she just do that? Just tell him and go on with it. Why couldn't she be ready, like the song said?

Before the music ended she disentangled herself from Castle and walked to the bar. The song in itself was making her feel awful. Having him so close only made things worse.

Shortly after 9:00 pm Martha and Alexis went home, leaving the three couples dancing, talking and drinking. The night went on and the fun didn't fade.

* * *

><p>Castle hadn't realized how wasted Kate was, until something set off all the alarms. He went to see what she was doing at the bar and she almost fell off the stool she was sitting on. He reached for her, holding her by her waist. Her hands landed on his shoulder on a death grip, their faces a breath away. And then, it happened. She tried to kiss him.<p>

"Whoa, Kate! You're really drunk!" He exclaimed, trying to avoid her luscious lips.

She giggled. "So?"

Rick tried to find his voice again. Why did she have to be so drunk? Why couldn't sober Beckett try to kiss him? It would be so much easier… "So, I think I should take you home before you embarrass yourself in front of everyone."

"Home, huh? How thoughtful of you, Castle." Kate said, trying to hold herself still against the bar.

Castle ensured that she could stand on her feet and removed his arms from around her waist. "I'm going to get your things and say goodbye to everyone. I'll be right back."

The writer gathered Beckett's belongings and excused themselves with their friends, explaining Kate's state. After some teasing from the boys and a couple of encouragements from Lanie, they were out of the Bar and in a cab to her apartment.

* * *

><p>Castle was absolutely sure that the devil was driving that cab, because the ride back to her apartment was being pure hell. Beckett couldn't keep her hands to herself, leaning her head against his shoulder and taking advantage of her position to play with the buttons of his shirt and snake her other arm around his neck to stroke his ear. The hand at his chest fell down to his thigh, moving dangerously towards a very delicate part of his anatomy. He could feel his neurons melting at the contact.<p>

"Jesus, Kate. Stop!" He begged, grasping her hand. His voice was rough and shaky, and he knew the words were useless by then, but he just couldn't move.

The wicked smile that appeared on her face didn't make things easier. "Aw, why Castle? Am I making you nervous?" She asked with that sultry voice that made him want to forget she was too drunk, and ravish her then and there.

The cabby pulled over in front of her building and Castle thanked God out loud. Two more minutes and he would have made what could have been the biggest mistake of his life.

Kate wasn't happy to be home and he had to fight her to get her out of the car. "No, Castle. I don't wanna go home yet! I wanna have fun." She said giggling, her head falling backwards as if her neck couldn't handle the weight of it.

Castle managed to take her out of the car and into the building, almost carrying her in his arms. Kate kept playing with him, trying to touch his butt as they walked. They made it to the elevator and the little space between them made it even harder to keep his hands to himself. She was all over him, whispering things to his ear he couldn't even understand, due to her drunk, clumsy tongue.

Once at her door he asked her for her keys. "Uh, uh. No. I told you, Ricky. I don't wanna go home yet." She laughed.

Castle closed his eyes and massaged his temples, trying to gain back some composure. "Kate, come on. Give me your key. You need to go to bed and sleep it off."

That wicked grin reappeared on her face. Beckett took the keys out of her purse and looked at him intently. "You want the keys?" She asked, her husky voice making him shiver. "Come and get 'em." She dared him, putting them on the front pocket of her jeans, pushing them down and close to her crotch.

Rick swallowed loudly, his hands were sweating and his heart was threatening him with jumping out of his chest. "Damn it, Kate." He murmured. What was he supposed to do now? "Ok, you've wanted this…"

He cradled her face with his hand and moved closer, making her walk backwards until she hit the wall. Her eyes were somewhere between confusion and arousal. He got impossibly close to her, his face not even an inch apart from hers, and when she closed her eyes, expecting _something_ to happen, his other hand made it to her pocket and took the keys out with a fast move.

By the time Beckett realized what was happening, Castle had opened the door and was pulling her inside, taking her directly to her bedroom and making her sit on her bed. Kate laughed and raised her eyebrows suggestively at him. "Wow, you don't waste your time, do you?" She joked.

The writer reached for her boots, taking them off. "Come on, lay down. I'll get you some Ibuprofen for the upcoming hang over."

"What? No way! I'm not sleeping with my clothes on, Castle." Kate whined. "Why don't you take them off?" She said, looking at him through her thick eyelashes.

Rick leaned down to her, his mouth to her ear. "Because the day that happens I want you to remember it. So until then, let's keep our clothes on, ok, Katie?"

Beckett's mouth hung open for a moment, but then she nodded as she watched Castle leave the bedroom. He came back in a minute, a glass of water in one hand and two ibuprofen pills in the other. She was already lying in bed, her eyes wanting to close.

"Ok, here we go. Take these." He said, helping her stand on her elbow to take the pills and the water.

Kate fell back down into the mattress, a smug smile on her face. "Lay down with me?" She asked.

Rick shook his head. "Please? Just until I fall asleep. I promise I'll be good." He couldn't believe she was begging.

"Ok. Just a minute." He conceded. He lay down on his side facing her; a soft smile crept on her face when she looked at him.

"Thank you, Rick. You're so good to me." She said, her eyes closing already. Her hand landed on his jaw, tracing it with her thumb and brushing the corner of his mouth. She let out a long breath when he brushed a lock of hair off her face. "If you only knew how much I lo-…" And she passed out.

Castle smiled. He knew what she was going to say. He damned the fact that she had fallen asleep right that moment, but he also was thankful that something as important as that - her saying those three little words to him – hadn't happened out of a silly drunk moment when she was completely unaware of it. He wanted it to be magical and he didn't mind to wait.

When he was sure she was sound asleep, he stood up and leaned over to put a kiss on her forehead before he left to his loft with a big smile on his face.

TBC.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Be nice and write something for me? Please? *_*<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Hey there! Sorry it's taken me a little longer to post this chapter. I've been feeling a little low on the last few days and to be honest my inspiration is not at its best. I've done the best I could, I promise! :)

Thanks to Purplewaters, as always, for her help with this story, for giving me all the great ideas and for making this easier.

Thanks to all of you reading, reviewing and adding to favs and alerts. You guys are the best! You have no idea how it is to find your inbox full of messages in the morning. It's just GREAT! Thanks for that :)

And now, after my never-ending note, (sorry about that) I leave you with the chapter. As always, we hope you enjoy it!

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Kate Beckett woke up to a terrible headache. It was hurting so bad she thought her brain was going to melt and come out of her ears. She sat up in bed and waited until the throbbing decreased a little to catch her phone from the nightstand to check what time it was. She reached for it but noticed something else there. Right beside her cell phone were a glass of water, a couple of ibuprofen pills and a note. She took the piece of paper and unfolded it. It said: _Take these, you're going to need them. R.C._

She couldn't fight the smile that curled her lips. That was so sweet of him.

The smile faded as soon as it appeared, when she got a flash about the night before. Her trying to kiss him, her hand moving up his thigh, the teasing with the keys, but most importantly, his whispering into her ear telling her how he wanted it to happen when the time came. That last thought made her shiver.

Kate covered her face with both her hands in embarrassment. This was going to be a long day.

She finally reached for her phone, jumping out of bed when she checked the hour and realized she was over an hour late. Damn!

* * *

><p>Castle walked into the bullpen a little after nine. He was surprised to see that Beckett was not sitting at her desk, but surprise turned into worry when he realized she wasn't even at the precinct. Her bag and coat were not there and her computer was off.<p>

The writer put the two coffee cups he was carrying on the table and took out his phone, but Ryan and Esposito interrupted him.

"Morning…" Ryan said. "…Castle!" Esposito finished. Both detectives were sporting mischievous smiles.

"Morning." Castle frowned. " Do you guys know where Beckett is?"

Espo chuckled. "You tell us, bro. You left with her last night."

The writer sighed loudly. "Oh, come on, you guys. She was drunk. I just took her home and put her to bed." He explained.

"Sure you did." Espo added, feeding the birds with Ryan, who asked, "Did you tuck her in too?"

"Very funny. Now seriously, has she called in sick or something? It's not like Beckett to be late for work." Castle asked, concern eating him inside.

Espo patted his shoulder, leaving the jokes behind and trying to reassure him. "Relax, man. She called a while ago. She forgot to set her alarm." He told him. "But well, given the facts, I guess it was _**you **_who forgot to set her alarm, right?" Both detectives left to their desks laughing loudly.

Castle took his phone out again and sent Kate a text.

_Where are you? These two are killing me about last night. So not fair facing this alone…_

Beckett was entering the lobby when she got his message. She read it and bit her lower lip nervously. This was going to be a long day, indeed. When she realized she had stopped walking and was standing in there looking dumbly at her phone, she blinked hard and started typing her response.

_Coming up. You better have my coffee ready; my head's killing me. Tell those two to mind their own business._

* * *

><p>Kate walked inside the bullpen scanning the place to see if her two detectives were around, and in that case, try to avoid them. No such luck. They were both working on their desks and there was no way to evade them. She walked past them nonchalantly; greeting Castle and taking the cup of coffee he offered her the moment she stood in front of him. She hung her bag and coat on the back of her chair and turned around to sit, finding the two partners smiling smugly at her.<p>

Kate gave them a look and sighed. "What?" she barked.

Ryan and Esposito's smiles vanished and they took a step back.

"Nothing." Ryan mumbled.

Espo braved up and handed her a piece of paper. "We have the warrant for Whitman's attic."

Beckett took the order and checked that it was signed. "Ok. What are you waiting for? Let's go!"

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later they were in her car driving to the Upper East Side. Beckett was concerned about Castle's silence. It was not like him to be quiet for so long. It was not like him to be quiet, period. Had she scared him last night? She couldn't take those images out of her head. It surely had been hard for him to restrain himself; she knew he was drunk too. Maybe not as much as her – hell, she doubted anyone had ever been so drunk – but she had seen him put down at least three of those huge cocktails.<p>

"Hey, you ok?" She asked, patting his knee to catch his attention.

Castle looked at her and smiled. "Yeah. Fine." He stared at her hand for a moment. It didn't move from his leg. "I see you have a little more control over your hands today." He joked.

Kate's face went crimson red in a second as she removed her hand from him. She hadn't even realized she had left it there. "Yeah. About that… I'm… sorry."

"Hey, you don't have to apologize, ok? You were… not feeling well and I took you home. There's nothing to be sorry about." He told her trying to sound serious. He didn't want her to feel bad about what had happened.

Kate shook her head as she turned to the left on a junction. "You don't have to pretend it's ok, Castle. I know I made you feel uncomfortable and I'm sorry. I can't believe I acted like that… Now you know why I don't drink very often."

"Kate, I'm telling you, it's ok. You were drunk and you did things drunk people do. No big deal. Seriously." He found her gaze in the rearview mirror and smiled.

She returned the smile and gave him a nod. "Thank you. For everything. Those pills you left in my nightstand saved my life this morning." she chuckled.

Castle laughed too. "You're very welcome. I imagined you'd need them. Been there myself, you know."

Another turn to the left and they were in front of the Whitmans' building. "Ok. We're here." Kate said, parking the car and opening her door as soon as she stopped the car's engine.

Castle followed suit walking by her side, thankful that they had been able to beat the awkwardness that had been around them since the moment they met that morning.

* * *

><p>Once at the doorway, Beckett briefed the uniforms and CSU people and they walked inside the building. Kate pressed the doorbell button and waited until a surprised Anita opened the door.<p>

"Detective Beckett! What's going on?" The woman asked when she saw all the officers behind them.

Kate took a step ahead. "Morning, Anita. Are Mr. or Mrs. Whitman home? We have a search warrant for the apartment. Would you let us come in, please?"

The maid swallowed and stepped aside to let them inside the attic. "I'll tell Mrs. Whitman you're here." She said, walking away.

Amanda appeared in the hall two minutes later with a surprised expression on her face and considerably altered. "What's going on? What's that about a warrant? What are you looking for here?"

"We're sorry to bother you, Mrs. Whitman, but we need to cover any possibility. There had been a couple of things that have made us suspect that your husband could have something to do with Lazzaro's death." Beckett explained to the now sobbing woman.

"Oh, my God! Leo? Are you sure?" She asked, completely shocked.

Beckett shook her head. "No. That's why we're doing this." She excused herself and walked towards her team, joining them on the search.

They had been there for around two hours when Leonard Whitman arrived home. The moment he walked through the door he started yelling at everyone he found. When he was faced with the detective his face was completely red in anger. "What the Hell is going on here?"

Beckett gave him one of her death glares and walked closer to him. "We're searching your apartment for evidence. I gave your wife the warrant when we arrived here. I'm sure she'll be glad to show it to you." She was going to take a step back but Whitman grabbed her arm.

"This is ridiculous. You have no right to get into my house and do whatever you want." He yelled at her, tightening his grip on her arm.

Kate winced when he hurt her and moved her free hand over her gun, letting it show. The man let go of her hand immediately. "With all due respect, Mr. Whitman, yes, we can." She stepped back. "Where were you last Friday between 12 and 2 am?"

"I can't believe this! I should have been warned about this so I could have called my lawyer." The man replied getting angrier by the minute.

"You can answer here or you can answer at the precinct with you lawyer, Mr. Whitman. I sincerely doubt the second option would be good press for your business." Beckett told him, knowing where to poke the businessman.

He stopped to think about it and then answered. "I was here. Alone. Mandy was in Chicago, but you already know that."

Beckett frowned. "You were home alone. Not the best of alibis, Mr. Whitman." And she walked away to join her team again.

When they were about to leave Ryan noticed the cameras at the lobby and he went to tell Beckett. "Hey. They have cameras here. If he left the building that night, it will be there."

"Yes. Good idea, Ryan. Go talk to the doorman." She said, giving the detective a smile and a nod.

* * *

><p>Back at the precinct the things were crazy. Gordon's wife's case was taking almost every resource they had, as it always happened when one of their own was involved in something like that. Kate kept feeling guilty for not helping, but at least she could blame her own case for it. She didn't have the time.<p>

Ryan and Esposito had stayed at Whitman's building watching the tapes from the security camera. They only had a warrant for Whitman's apartment so they couldn't take them, unless they found something incriminating him.

So far, they had nothing. They had found a gun that they were checking, but Beckett was almost sure it was not the murder weapon. They had found a pack of matches from 'The Jack of Diamonds', but it could have been there for a long time, and they had found a lot of prints they yet had to collate. Now all they could do was wait and see if any of those rang any bells.

Beckett stretched on her chair and rubbed her temples, the headache coming back full force. "God! I hate this case… The more we search the less we find. And this stupid headache is not helping, either."

Castle smiled and took out a tube of pills from his pocket, putting it on the table. "Here, take a couple of these. I'll get you some coffee." He said, standing up from his chair.

Kate took the pills and smiled at him broadly. "Aw, thank you!" She said opening the tube. "What would I do without you?"

Those last words came out in such a low voice, that Castle didn't know if he was meant to hear them. "Well, you probably would drag that headache all day." he joked, trying to downplay the issue.

He realized she didn't know she had said it out loud, until he answered her and she blushed so deeply her ears were almost purple. "Yeah, probably." She said; her eyes glued to the screen of her computer, even though he knew she had turned it off a while ago. It was so funny when she let slip things like that. It made worth all the long waiting.

When Castle got back with their coffees, she was on the phone with Esposito. He put her mug on the table right beside her hand and she took it instantly, nodding her thanks. "Yeah, bring it here, I'll talk to Gates… Ok… See you in a while. Bye."

She hung up the phone and took a long sip of her coffee before she looked at him still a little blushed. "That was Espo. The doorman has recognized Whitman's mistress coming into the building that night."

"So he lied when he told us he was alone that night. Why would he do that? I mean, having someone with him would give him a better alibi. It's weird." Castle said, trying to figure out the puzzle.

"Yeah, well. It's clear he's hiding something; we only need to find out what. The boys are bringing the tape back here to see if we can find anything else. Maybe he left his apartment that night and she noticed… That could incriminate him." Kate rubbed her eyes, waiting for the pills to work their magic and get rid of her headache.

"Maybe they're both in it. She could be his accomplice." He said, rising his eyebrows and pouting a little.

Beckett smiled – how could he be so adorable? – And then shook her head. "That's ridiculous, Castle. Why would she want to kill the lover of her lover's wife? It's too twisted."

"Yeah… A little too meta. Well, I guess we'll have to wait." He said rubbing his chin in thought.

TBC.

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><p><strong>AN:** Ok, I know the ending is kind of weird, but the next chapter will chatch right from there so it won't be so abrupt. I know what I want to tell but I need to find the perfect way to tell it, and that takes me time lately. Inspiration's not playing clean with me…

Anyway, we hope you've liked it and that you are enjoying the journey. Thanks a lot for reading! :)

Pressing that link down there – the one that says 'review this chapter' - and writing your thoughts about it you get the power to make us so very happy! Wanna try? :P


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Hello! Back again with a new chapter. I really hope you guys like it. Please, feel free to comment, review or just say whatever crosses your mind after reading. That would make me very happy! :)

Thanks to my partner, Purplewaters, who gave me the best plot to work on. I really love this story. Thanks, girl!

Thanks to all of your reading, adding the story to alerts, favorites and to all of you reviewing. I really appreciate all of it :)

Enjoy the reading and please, forgive my awful grammar!

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

The boys arrived at the precinct at almost 2:00 pm, bringing with them the videotape and some take out for their little team. A late lunch would give them the energy boost they needed to go on for the rest of the day.

The two detectives went straight to the conference room and waited for Beckett and Castle, who were still talking to Gates about their findings at Whitman's. By the looks on both their partners' faces, they could tell the thing wasn't going really well. They had been walking in circles with this case and their boss was extremely pissed.

Castle walked out first, trying to make himself invisible to the angry Iron Gates, followed by Beckett, who wasn't hiding her _'you can go to hell'_ face. She was feeling bad enough about having no clues, to have her boss reminding her about it every step of the way.

Espo made them a sign to call their attention and let them know they were there. The writer and the detective walked into the conference room and smiled broadly when they smelled the food.

"Oh! Thank you, guys! I'm starving." Kate said, sitting on a chair and reaching for one of the cartons. "Hmmm Chinese!"

Castle followed suit and he was chewing some bittersweet pork in a second. "Have I told you how much I love you?" He joked, giving Esposito a fake loving gaze.

Beckett choked on her spring roll, her face scarlet red. "Jesus, Kate. Are you ok?" The writer asked very concerned, patting her back, while the other two laughed at their boss. She nodded and drank from her forgotten cup of coffee, now too cold. Her heart was still racing and her mind was playing sick games with her, repeating that scene at the cemetery over and over again.

* * *

><p>After feeding themselves and relaxing a little bit, they went back to business. Ryan put on the tape and stopped it when the girl appeared.<p>

"There she is." Ryan said, pointing the small image of a young woman on the TV screen.

She was very young, no more than 25 years old. She had long blond hair and was slim and not very tall. They could see her face clearly on the screen and Castle reaffirmed his theory; Leonard Whitman had a very refined taste in women.

Esposito took out his notepad and briefed them. "The doorman was very helpful. Her name is Alina Berchev. She works for Whitman. The doorman says she's been 'visiting' the old man for at least six or seven months. He knows it started in the summer because the wife was in The Hamptons by then. She only comes there when he's alone. Evidently…" The detective pointed.

Beckett's brows were knitted together in thought. "So she spent the night there but Whitman lied about it. Why would he do that?"

"No idea." Castle replied, lost in his own thoughts.

"Have you found anything else?" Beckett asked Ryan, who was still envisioning the tape.

The young detective shook his head. "No. There's someone leaving the building around 12:30 am, but we can't tell who it is. Definitely, not Whitman." He said, forwarding the tape until the dark figure, covered in a big black coat and a scarf left the building in the middle of the night.

"That could be anyone." Castle mumbled a little distracted. "We should go talk to that girl. She's the only one who can tell us anything."

Beckett nodded, leaving her chair and walking towards the door. "Yeah. Grab your coat, Castle. We're going to pay Miss Berchev a visit."

* * *

><p>The headquarters of WF were located at one of the most expensive buildings in the financial district. It was exquisitely decorated and contrary to what Beckett thought, the place was quiet and neat. They headed to the reception counter and talked to the young girl working there. She was surely a student.<p>

"Hi. I am Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. This is Richard Castle. Do you know this woman?" Kate asked showing her a screenshot of Alina.

The girl smiled nervously and took a look at the photo. "Yes. That's Miss Berchev. She works here."

Beckett smiled, trying to reassure the nervous girl. "Good. Do you know where she is? We need to talk to her."

"She must be at her office. I can call her and tell her you're here." The girl offered pushing a button on her PBX. "Miss Berchev? Yes. There are some detectives here. They want to talk to you… Ok…Yes I'll tell them." The girl pressed the button again and looked back to Beckett. "She'll be with you in a minute. You can wait in the small conference room. Down that corridor, first door to your left." The girl told them.

Castle nodded and gave the girl one of his flashing smiles. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>The small conference room had the size of Beckett's living room, kitchen included. There was a huge table with at least twenty five chairs around it, a big flat screen at one end of the room and a counter with glasses and jars full of water. She and Castle sat one beside the other looking around, taking in every little detail of the room. Five minutes later, Alina made her appearance.<p>

"Hello, detectives?" The girl said the moment she crossed the door. She walked directly towards Castle, offering him her hand to shake.

Castle shook it and gave her a nod. "Hi."

Beckett did the same, pointing towards the table to make the girl sit down. As she did, Alina swallowed hard and started playing with her hands. "What is this about?"

Kate took out a picture of Ronald Lazzaro and showed it to the girl. "Do you know this man, Alina?"

"Yes, of course. He's Ronald Lazzaro. We have to know our enemies well." The girl said, like remembering the line from a past moment.

"He was found dead on Saturday morning." Castle told her.

Alina's eyes went wide. "He's… he's dead?" She asked, swallowing hard again.

"Yes." Beckett said. "We know you were with Mr. Whitman that night, Alina. Did you notice anything different? Did he left the apartment at any time?"

The girl shook her head. "No! No, I wasn't there. Why would I be with Mr. Whitman? He's my boss."

Castle looked at the girl with serious eyes. "We know about your relationship with Whitman, Alina, and we can prove you were there that night. "He said, as Beckett took out the screenshot of her entering the lobby at Whitman's building. "So cut the act. We want the truth."

The girl rubbed her face with both hands and let out a long sigh. "Ok. I was there with him. He told me last night that he had lied to you because he didn't want his wife to find out that I had been there. There's something on that prenup they signed… I don't know."

"What happened that night?" Beckett asked again.

"Nothing! I arrived there, we had dinner and we went to bed before 10:30 pm." She explained.

Castle snorted. "His wife leaves town, you can be together for the first time in weeks and you go to bed at 10:30? Come on, try harder!"

The girl gave him a smug grin. "No one said we went to sleep, Mr. Castle."

That won him a glare from Beckett who asked a couple more questions to the girl and shook her hand goodbye when they were over.

They walked to the car side by side, both going through Alina's words again in their heads.

"She lied." Beckett said, very sure of herself.

Castle's brows furrowed. "How do you know? And, what did she lie about?"

Beckett opened the door to the driver's side and got inside. "She was very nervous and couldn't keep eye contact. Her hands were sweaty and I noticed her legs were shaking all the time. She was clearly lying."

Castle nodded. "I'm impressed!" He said with a smirk.

"Yeah." She laughed. "When I asked her about that night… I don't know… I have the feeling she's hiding something. I'll have the boys taking a look at her backgrounds, just in case." the detective said.

* * *

><p>They were called to Gates' the moment they set a foot in the precinct. The captain was pacing her office, rummaging the words she was about to speak.<p>

"I heard you've been talking to Whitman's mistress?" Gates asked on a dry tone.

Beckett nodded. "Yes, sir. But we have nothing yet."

Gates closed her eyes for a couple of seconds, taking a deep breath. "I can't tell you how disappointed I am in you, detective. I expected better from you. It's been three days and you still haven't found anything concrete!"

Beckett tried to interrupt. "I know, sir. But it's not our fault that…"

The captain turned around with a killer glare on her face. "Don't interrupt me, detective. I wasn't finished."

"Sorry, sir." Kate apologized.

"I have the press breathing down my neck and I don't like that feeling, detective Beckett. I'm tired of going out there having to tell them that I have nothing about the murder of one of the most important people in this city. It's embarrassing! So you better start doing your job before we have news from the Mayor. You can leave now."

Beckett's hands were in fists by then, her face red trying to hold back the words that were menacing to escape her lips. "Yes, sir."

* * *

><p>They found the boys still in the conference room, going through the CSU reports about the prints they had found at Whitman's that morning. There was nothing.<p>

"Argh! I hate this case! It's impossible that we don't have anything yet. There are nothing but dead ends and useless leads. This is so frustrating!" Beckett almost yelled, rubbing her temples over and over again, at the same time she paced the conference room.

Castle stepped in front of her; putting his hands on her shoulders and making her stop her frantic walking. "Ok, relax! You need to calm down, Beckett."

She gave him a look before she gave in and sat down. "Ok. I'm calm. Now what?"

The writer rubbed his chin with his fingers and turned to the frozen image on the TV. They had stopped it there before they left. "There has to be something we're missing here…"

Kate leaned her head on her hand and chuckled. "Great deduction, Sherlock."

Suddenly Castle's face brightened up. "I got it! Ryan, go back to the girl. When she comes in, please."

Beckett leaned forward in her seat, her attention focused on the TV screen again. "What is it Castle?"

"I knew there was something familiar about that unknown person leaving the building." Ryan had reached the moment where Alina entered the lobby. Castle took the remote from him and paused the video. "Do any of you recognize this scarf?" He said pointing to the girl's neck.

All three detectives moved closer to the screen looking intently at the piece of clothing. Castle pressed the forward button until the unknown figure was before their eyes and pointed the scarf once again. "Whitman didn't leave the building that night. Alina did."

* * *

><p>A uniform took Alina to the interrogation room while Beckett and her team talked about their next steps by her desk.<p>

"Ok, We'll interrogate her. You guys can start checking anything you can find on her. Financials, phone records, whatever. I want everything." Beckett told them, right before marching towards the interrogation room followed by Castle.

Kate opened the door and walked inside, avoiding eye contact with her suspect until they were face to face. "You lied to us, Alina."

The young woman broke eye contact and started playing with her fingers. "No. Why do you think I lied?"

"We don't think, we _know_ you lied. You told us that nothing happened that night. That you had dinner and went to bed early, but we know that's not true." Kate took the remote that was lying on the table and pressed the play button. The TV at the end of the room came back to life, showing Alina living the building covered with a big black coat and her red scarf. "That's you leaving Whitman's apartment at 12:35 am."

Alina swallowed and blinked repeatedly. "You can't see a face in there, how do you know it's me?"

Castle smiled very proud of himself. "The scarf. You were wearing it too when you came into the building that evening."

The girl's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head. "Ok, ok. It's me. I had to do it! She needed the money."

Beckett and Castle frowned. "Who?" They asked in unison.

"Nadja. My cousin." The girl sobbed. "That's why I left that night. She called me asking for help. She eloped with her boyfriend a couple of months ago. She's 17 and they're both illegal aliens. That's why I couldn't tell anyone."

Castle offered her some tissues. "So you left to give her some money?" Castle asked a little confused.

"Yes. She called telling me that she and her boyfriend wanted to leave the city. Her parents have sent a man to look for her and they knew she'd come to New York to contact me, so I gave her the money and she disappeared. I haven't heard from her ever since." Alina explained.

"And you don't know where she was going?" Beckett asked.

Alina shook her head. "No. No idea."

* * *

><p>When they left the interrogation room and joined the boys, Beckett put an APB on Nadja Krokov, Alina's cousin. They needed to check the girl's story in order to know what happened that night, and for that, they needed to talk to Nadja.<p>

"Ok, guys. It's late, we should call it a day and go home." Beckett said, stretching on her chair and feeling her headache coming back.

Esposito jumped from his seat and grabbed his coat in a second. "Yeah! It was time, boss. I'm dead."

Ryan followed his partner, waving Beckett and Castle goodbye when they reached the elevator.

"Well detective," Castle said holding her coat for her to walk into it, "I can't say I'm not happy to leave. This had been one hell of a day."

Kate smiled. "Yes, indeed, Castle. Yes indeed." She replied, taking her hair out from under her coat collar.

They walked to the elevator side by side, bumping into each other every few steps because they were walking way too close, but they didn't care. They stopped in front of the lift waiting for it to open its doors to them. When it did, a dark haired teenager burst out from it, walking fast and not looking back.

"Nice manners" Beckett mumbled when they stepped inside the elevator.

Castle's face was soft and concerned. "That was Gordon's daughter. Karpowski told me he's been hiding here since it happened. The girl's home alone all day taking care of her younger brothers… This is being very tough on them all."

Beckett's face went white. "Yeah, I can imagine." She just said, trying to avoid the panic feeling that was starting to hunt her again, as well as Castle's preoccupied gaze.

* * *

><p>Back at home, and after taking a couple of sleeping pills to keep her nightmares at bay, Kate headed to bed. She picked up a book, something light and easy, to keep her mind distracted until sleep caught her.<p>

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

_She is so happy. All that she has ever wanted is about to come true in just a few minutes. She is looking at herself in the mirror, her white dress hugging her figure in a perfect fit. It is beautiful._

"_You look so incredible, honey." Her mother tells her, holding her shoulders from behind. "He's going to faint the moment he sees you."_

_Kate chuckles "I hope not, mom! He better stand there long enough to say 'I do'" She jokes._

_A moment later she is walking down the isle, holding her father's arm, all the people there, their friends and families, are looking at her like she is the most beautiful woman on earth. And at the end of it, there is him. Richard Castle, the love of her life. The most amazing man she has ever met, and she is getting married to him. She couldn't be happier and by the look on his face, neither could him._

_They're holding each other's hands; Rick's already pronounced his vows and now it's her turn. She doesn't have a long speech, just a few words that represent everything about their relationship, everything they are together, but she never gets to tell them._

_Her mother is laying on the floor, writhing in pain, her blood spilling out of her body staining her dress. She's kneeling beside her, screaming, trying to find the place where the blood is coming from but she can't find it. Everybody is yelling and running, too scared to do anything. _

"_Mom!" She screams. "Mom, please, don't leave me. Please!" _

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Kate woke up bathed in sweat and tangled in her sheets. The book she had been reading was now stabbing her ribs. She was crying, the dream still too vivid in her head.

She needed to let go; she needed to take that image out of her head. Her hand probed the surface of her nightstand and found her phone, pressing the number 2 of her speed dial.

"Castle." His voice greeted her, rough and enveloped on sleep.

She didn't answer.

"Hello? Beckett?" He waited for half a minute. When he got no response he jumped out of bed. "I'm coming" And he hung up.

TBC

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><p><strong>AN:** Ok, what do you think? Have you guys any idea of who the killer is? I'd love to know your conjectures and ideas.

Thanks for reading. Please review! :D


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Hey, people! Sorry it took me a little longer than usual to post. I've been busy. This is another basically Caskett-y chapter. Dealing with Kate's nightmare and all.

My thanks to Purplewaters, as always, for being such a great supporter and partner.

Thanks to all of you reading this, reviewing, adding it to alert and favs. You're the reason I write. :)

Again I'm sorry if you find any grammatical errors. I'm trying to improve that.

And now, enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

It was long past midnight, and Rick Castle laid asleep over his desk at his study. His smart board was on and the picture of Kate Beckett was smiling at him from the middle of the flat screen.

One of the several stacks of papers piled on his table was being used as a pillow and the dim light of his laptop illuminated his childlike, sleeping features.

His phone rang startling him awake, making him grab the desk's edge to keep himself from falling off his chair. He picked the phone up as soon as he could, not bothering to look at the ID. At that hour it could only be one person.

"Castle." He grunted, his sleepy voice sounding weird even to himself.

No answer. He could hear someone breathing at the other end. It was fast and labored. He pulled the phone from his ear to check the caller ID. It was her and something was wrong.

"Hello? Beckett?" He tried again. He gave her a little time to answer him, when she didn't he jumped off his seat and grabbed his coat. "I'm coming."

* * *

><p>He left a note for Alexis and his mother telling them where he was so they wouldn't get worried in the morning and headed down to the parking garage. He needed to be there, and fast.<p>

Castle arrived at her building in record time. He parked his car and climbed the steps to her floor running like he was on a race. She needed him. She wouldn't have called if she didn't.

He was standing in front of her door, his hand a couple of inches of the only thing separating them. Rick took a deep breath, swallowed and knocked on the door, at last.

He had to wait for a couple of minutes until she opened the door to him. When he walked inside he saw Beckett standing right behind the steel panel, her eyes studying the floor. She looked tiny, her shoulders hunched and her feet pressed together, one over the other, as if trying to hide themselves.

Kate closed the door but her eyes never left the floor. He could tell she had been crying. Her face looked sticky and blushed, her hair was disheveled and her nose was puffy. He hated to see her like that.

After a moment standing there he opened his arms to her and waited. "Kate?" He whispered, trying to get her out of her trance.

She walked slowly towards him; her arms limp at both sides of her body, her head hanging forward like a death flower. When she reached him she pressed her forehead against the base of his neck and breathed him in. Castle encircled her waist with his arms, pulling her closer to him, trying to wrap her. The moment she felt him hugging her, she started crying again. Her body shook violently against his, her sobs muffled by the skin of his chest. Her hands moved and grabbed his shirt in two fistfuls, rage and impotence mixing up in the gesture. She was broken.

They stood like that for a good while until Rick's legs started to feel numb. Then he managed to take her to the couch, sitting there and pulling her over him. Kate curled herself on his lap, her head hidden in the crook of his neck and both her knees pressed against his chest. It was like holding a shaky Beckett ball.

Rick rubbed her back soothingly, trying to calm her down. "Shhh. I'm here, Kate. I got you, ok? I got you."

"I'm sorry, Castle. I didn't want you to see me like this… I'm so sorry." Kate managed to say between sobs.

It broke his heart hearing her say that. He needed her to understand that it was fine. "No, don't be sorry, Kate. It's ok to break sometimes. And you should know that you can break as many times as you need, cause I'll be here to pick up the pieces and put them all back together. Always, Kate. Always."

She snuggled even closer to him, her tears soaking his shirt. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Castle woke up a couple of hours later, his neck was hurting and he was cold. Kate was lying asleep on the couch with her head on his lap. He smiled and brushed her hair off her face, his thumb grazing the corner of her mouth. She was beautiful even at her lowest times.<p>

He didn't realize his thumb had been stroking her face lazily and she had woken up at the feeling, so when he looked back at her face, he was surprised to find her hazel eyes looking back at him.

"Hey." He said, smiling at her but not being able to hide his preoccupation.

Kate pursed her lips and blinked. "Hey." She didn't smile back at him. She just sat up and started playing with her hands nervously, avoiding eye contact.

He knew this would happen. Kate Beckett going back to her shelter, hiding from everything and everyone who could see her weakness. He wanted her to know how he loved her weaknesses as much as he loved her strengths. How her not being perfect made him feel even more attached to her, because he knew he was far from perfect himself. But there was no use in telling her about that, because they both knew how he felt and she had chosen to ignore it by now, only letting him see little glimpses of the real Kate when she was just too vulnerable to hide from him.

Seeing he didn't talk, she took the lead. "I'm sorry about before… I shouldn't have called you, it was stupid…" She said brushing her hair out of her face with her fingers.

Castle winced. "Why do you say that, Kate? You obviously needed someone here with you. I'm glad you called me." He saw her nod a little. "Now, are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked.

Kate's face went white. "I… It was just… A nightmare."

"What was it about? Must have been something really bad for you to react like that." He said, remembering the crumbling Beckett that had received him almost three hours ago.

She shrugged. "Yeah, it was pretty bad."

"But you're not going to tell me what it was about, are you?" He knew how she worked.

Kate just shook her head before she met his eyes again. "I'd rather not to. I'm ok now, Castle. Thanks for coming. It's… late…"

He knew what that meant, but he wasn't ready to leave. He didn't want to leave her alone. "I know. You should go to bed. I'll get myself a blanket and crash on the couch."

Kate frowned. "Excuse me?" She asked, trying to sound daring so he would change his mind.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kate. Not after that. So, you go to bed and I'll be here in case you need me, ok?" He told her while he stood up and walked towards the cabinet where he knew she kept a blanket.

Beckett stopped him on his tracks, grabbing his forearm. "Castle, no. You go home. Now."

Castle pulled his arm from her grasp and held her by her shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how mad at me you get, I don't care if you take out your gun, I don't even care if you shoot me. I'm not leaving. Got it?"

Kate was startled. Castle never, ever talked to her like that. So she swallowed hard and nodded.

Rick turned around to get his blanket and Kate went to her bedroom, wishing him goodnight right before she closed the door. He made himself comfortable on the couch and fell asleep fast.

Not even an hour had past when he felt a hand on his arm shaking him. He opened one eye and found Kate standing right beside him, looking a little scared and absolutely undecided.

"What happened?" He asked groggily, trying to sit.

Beckett smiled shyly. "I… It's… I don't want to sleep alone… I can't." she let out, chewing on her lower lip and pinching the bridge of her nose between her eyes. "Gosh, this is so embarrassing!" She said, letting out a deep sigh.

"It's ok, Kate. No need to be embarrassed." He said, holding her hand to stand up. "Let's go to bed."

* * *

><p>It had been weird the fact that their first time sharing a mattress had happened while being drugged and kidnapped, and Castle had hoped that the next time that would happen, it would be in a very different way. And it was, just not the way he had imagined.<p>

He got into bed and waited while Beckett made a quick visit to the bathroom. He was kind of nervous, even though he knew nothing was going to happen. It was not the time. She came back after a couple of minutes and got into bed, covering herself with the sheets and laying down on her side, facing him.

He smiled at her and leaned his head on his hand. "You feeling any better?" He asked.

"Yeah, sort of…" She replied. She felt him moving an inch closer and her hand flew to his chest, stopping him. "Do I have to build a barrier of pillows between us, Castle? No funny business, ok?"

Rick's face froze, his eyebrows knitted together in question. "I was just moving because my foot was falling asleep." He said, his mind thinking about the real barrier she had built between them, the one he was trying to tear down. Then his face broke into a grin. "I promise I'll respect you, detective. Believe it or not I know how to keep my hands to myself…" Been doing it for a while, he thought.

"Oh. Ok. Good night, Castle." She said, turning around and turning the lights off.

"Good night, Beckett." He replied, trying to restrain himself from snuggling closer and hold her in his arms.

* * *

><p>The morning found them all tangled up together when her alarm went off at 7:00 am. His left arm was under her neck, his hand holding her shoulder lightly. Her head was resting on his shoulder, her hair tickling his nose a little because it was covering part of his face. Her left arm was circling his waist and her left leg was all over his mid section tangling itself with her partner's lower limbs. It was like if she was using Castle as a huge, warm pillow.<p>

At the sound of the alarm Kate moved instantly to turn it off, forgetting, or better, ignoring, the fact that she and Castle had managed to form a human knot during the night. The leg she had tangled with Castle's pulled her to him, making her startle at the feeling of the man's body all against hers. She winced and let out a gasp and the sudden movement woke Castle up.

"Hey. Morning." He said rubbing his sleepy eyes.

Kate looked at him petrified, trying to figure out how the hell did they ended up like that. "Castle…" She stopped to think how to ask what she wanted to ask. "Why…? How…? Can you explain this?" She said at last, pointing at both of them with her eyes.

He looked down at their tangled bodies and laughed. "This?" That got him a glare and the smile fell off his face as fast as it appeared. "You woke up screaming not long after we went to bed. You snuggled closer to me and asked me to hold you until you fell asleep again. I guess you just got a little more _comfortable_ during the night…" Her face changed, trying to remember anything about that. She was blushing. "You don't remember? Maybe you were not as awake as I thought you were."

"Well, whatever happened, happened." She was not going to analyze everything that had happened that night. They just slept after all. It wasn't a big deal that the only way to stop her nightmares was being held by him. No. No big deal. "It's late. I'm going to take a shower and then I'll drop you at your place, ok? You can come to the precinct later." She suggested, getting out of bed as she spoke.

Castle nodded. "Ok. I'll make some coffee while you get ready."

* * *

><p>They left her apartment thirty minutes later, both with a cup of coffee in their hands. She drove him to his loft and left for work, nonchalantly thanking him again for being there for her, but making a huge effort to hide how touched she really was by his gesture.<p>

He entered his apartment, went straight to his bathroom, took a shower, cooked breakfast for everyone and talked with his mother for a little while before he left for the precinct again.

It was weird how he missed her after having spent all night with her. They had been apart for just an hour and a half. Now he regretted taking that shower. It had washed off the sweet scent of her from his skin.

* * *

><p>When he arrived at the precinct the three detectives were going through Alina Berchev's records, trying to find anything suspicious; at this point they had to suspect of anyone. Alina's cousin was still missing and their other leads were definitely dead. Gates was on her <em>best<em> mood.

After a couple of hours of reading, scanning and checking loads and loads of information, something popped up.

"I got something!" Said Ryan, taking the stack of papers he was working on and heading to Beckett's desk followed by Esposito. " She got a phone call at 12:24 am. She left 12 minutes later. The call was made from a phone booth close to 'The Jack of Diamonds'."

"Do we have video footage of that booth? Normally there are cameras around them." Beckett suggested.

"I'll check." Said Esposito, leaving them in a second to find out.

"It's odd." Castle said.

Kate waited for him to go on, but when he didn't she asked, "What's odd?"

Castle shrugged. "She getting a call at that hour and then leaving. And the call coming from somewhere close to the crime scene? Talk about coincidence! I don't know."

"Well, we'll see what we find out and then we will pay another visit to Miss Berchev." Kate said resting her back on her chair again. At last they had something to work on.

TBC.

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><p><strong>AN:** Ok, sorry. I had to cut it here because it's super late at night and I'm falling literally asleep as I write. I hope you like it though :)

What do you think so far? Any ideas on who the killer could be? Let me know by clicking down there and writing a comment. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Hi everyone! Sorry it's taken me a little longer than usual to update. I've had a very busy week and writing has been almost imposible. But well, here I am :)

Thanks to everyone adding this to alerts, favs and writing reviews. You guys really make my day. Love you!

Thanks to my partner Purplewaters who reads this before anyone does (She's the master mind after the plot, so she gets VIP access... LOL) and helps me correct my grammar and mispells. If you find any left though, they're all my fault!

And now, read and ENJOY! :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

It took the boys around an hour to find the video footage of the phone booth from where Alina had received a call the night of the murder, and still another half an hour, to find the images of the time she received the call. The moment Ryan found it he called Beckett and Castle to show them.

In the images they could see a young woman wearing a long dark skirt, sneakers and a black hoodie. She was covering her head with the hood and they couldn't see her face clearly.

"Do you think she could be the missing cousin?" Castle asked Beckett.

She was looking at the screen intently, biting her lower lip in thought. "Yeah, could be. She said she was seventeen and that girl looks young." She looked at Ryan. "Can you get us a screenshot of the girl? We'll show it to Alina, see if she can tell us who she is."

"Sure. You got it." Ryan said, touching the smart board and handing them the picture in less than a minute.

Beckett smiled at him and shook her head at Ryan's smug grin. "Thank you, Ryan. Come on, Castle. Let's go."

* * *

><p>Alina received them in her office this time. The young woman seemed a little stressed, her eyes were lightless and there were dark circles under them. She invited them to sit on the two chairs right before her desk, while she took her seat behind it.<p>

"What can I do for you today, detectives?" The woman asked with a fake smile.

Beckett took out a folder and then extracted a paper from it and presented it to Alina. "We've found out that you got a call to your cell phone at 12:24 am the night of the murder." She showed her the highlighted line on the phone call record. "Who was it?"

Alina's face went blank. "I don't know. Probably wrong number or something. I remember hearing the phone, but when I answered it no one talked."

Castle narrowed his eyes and looked at the young woman. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She nodded.

Castle took the piece of paper from Beckett's hand and put it on the table so Alina could look at it better. "Well, that's kind of weird because it says right here – he pointed with his finger – that the call lasted one minute and thirty six seconds. That's a long time for a wrong number call."

Alina nodded and rubbed her eyes with her hand. "I… I thought it could be Nadja, that's why I waited so long. But no one spoke so I hung up."

Beckett took out a picture then, the one Ryan had taken out of the video. "Do you recognize this girl?"

"Yes! It's her, it's Nadja!" She said excited. "Do you know if she's ok?"

Kate pursed her lips and shook her head. "No, sorry. We don't know where she is. But according to this photo, she was the one calling you that night."

"And you keep telling us that no one talked to you? Because, you see, the girl in the video is moving her lips as in conversation." Castle pointed.

"And the video surveillance at Whitman's apartment indicates that you left the building just 12 minutes after that call. And you told us that you were meeting your cousin when you left the building." Beckett said, trying to understand the story.

Alina took a deep breath before she spoke again. "I didn't talk to Nadja that night. She called me the day before. She told me to put the money in a bag and leave it in a trashcan close to that corner – she pointed the picture -. I just did what she told me. I haven't heard from her ever since. I had to do it at night so Leo wouldn't suspect anything. When I talked to him about Nadja he was furious. He said her being a minor could get me in trouble."

Beckett looked at Castle, questioning with her eyes if he believed the young woman. He just pursed his lips and shrugged lightly. "Ok. We'll keep in touch, Miss Berchev. Let us know if you remember anything else or if your cousin contacts you. We'll need to talk to her." Beckett said, standing from her chair and walking towards the door.

The young woman frowned. "You need to talk to Nadja? Why?" She asked shocked.

"Well, given the time you left the apartment that night, the holes in your story, and the lack of any proof to corroborate it, Nadja's testimony is your only alibi right now." Kate told her. Her intention was to scare the woman. "And, of course, we need to check on it."

Alina's face was white. She swallowed and nodded slowly. "Ok. I'll call you if I know anything about her."

* * *

><p>Castle and Beckett were on their way back to the precinct, both silent and deep in thought. After a while, Rick reached for the radio, his more than annoying habit of changing stations back into action.<p>

"Castle, will you please stop!" Beckett barked after a minute. "You're driving me crazy!"

His hand left the controls and landed in his lap after turning the radio off. "Sorry…" Castle licked his lips and turned to look at her. She was pissed. "Are you ok?" He asked.

Kate's expression softened a little and she gave him a quick apologetic look. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"You sure? Cause you seem a bit tense, which I guess is normal after the night you had but…"

"Castle, I'm fine. Really. Last night was… one of many." Kate interrupted him. She appreciated his concern very much, but she wasn't ready to talk about what had happened the night before.

Castle was surprised that she had just openly told him that she had nightmares regularly. "Well, I guess there was something different since you'd never called me before."

Kate just shrugged and kept silent for a couple of minutes. "I… I'll have to go out around noon today. Will you tell the boys to cover for me before Gates?"

"Sure. Where are you going?" Rick asked innocently, almost without realizing he was asking.

Kate's face changed from neutral to terrified. "I… it's… It's personal."

Castle placed his eyes on her again, taking her panic expression and making his own guesses. "Does it have anything to do with last night? Are you seeing someone to deal with those nightmares?"

Beckett's hands tightened on the wheel. "Yes. I am, Castle. And now, can you please stop the interrogation? I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Ok. Sorry. I… I'm just glad you found help on your own." He said, turning to look out the window. He really was glad.

"Yeah, thanks." Beckett answered, concentrating on the road again.

* * *

><p>Doctor Burke's office felt almost like home after all the time Kate had spent there during the last year. She could relax and let out her deepest thoughts and feelings without being afraid of being judged or misunderstood. Dr. Burke made it easy.<p>

They had been talking about the case for a while. Beckett was really frustrated about it. The lack of evidence or any lead, the stress of having Gates over her shoulder supervising her every move, and the almost absence of sleep, were taking her down.

"You're not sleeping well?" Dr. Burke asked, while he took notes on a little pad.

Kate shook her head slowly. "No… I… The nightmares are back…" She said, feeling a little guilty. She had been hiding that fact for a while. Last time the doctor had given her some pills but they only made her grumpy and slow in the mornings, and given the hours she had to get up at sometimes when there was a body drop, she couldn't risk it.

Burke stopped his writing to look at her. "You're not taking the pills I gave you?"

"No. They're not my thing." She said. "I can't be under the influence of strong sleeping pills when I'm called at 4:00 am to go to a crime scene."

"I see. We will have to look for another option, then." The doctor replied. "What have been the nightmares about? Still the same?"

Kate swallowed and turned to look out the window for a moment. "No. Not the same. I… Last night… Something happened… I… I had never dreamt about that before."

"About what?" Burke asked intrigued.

Kate took a deep breath and started narrating her dream. "It was my wedding day. My mom was there with me, helping me to get dressed. We were talking and joking and… Oh, God! I was so happy!" She took a little break to wipe the lonely tear that was falling down her cheek. "She was beautiful and smiling all the time, holding my hand and giving me some advice before the big moment." Kate laughed between the tears that were now falling without control. "Then my dad walked me down the aisle. Everything was beautiful, and there he was… Gosh he looked amazing and so very happy. I was about to say 'I do' when my mom started screaming in pain. I turned around and there was blood everywhere. She was lying on the floor, her clothes, my dress, all stained with her blood. Everybody was screaming, running around not knowing what to do… He… He was trying to get to me, to help me, but he couldn't. He couldn't reach me!"

She was crying so hard now that she couldn't keep talking. The panic attack was getting closer but she had to push it down. It was not real. It was just a stupid dream.

"Ok, Kate, relax. Deep, slow breaths, remember? Let the air out slowly and wait a couple of seconds to take the next breath." He told her, noticing her altered state. "Yes, you're doing good. Just like that."

When he noticed her anxiety levels had dropped a bit, Dr. Burke kept going with the questions. "You kept talking about a man. The one you were getting married to. Who was he?"

Kate blushed and let escape a little smile. "It… It was Castle." She said, her voice almost a whisper.

Burke smiled to himself. "So, you were about to start a new life, start being happy with Castle, but your mother's death got in the way."

"Yeah… Not hard to read into that one, huh?" She tried to joke. "The dream was not all."

"What happened next?"

"I called him. I had never done that before. Ever. I couldn't even talk when he picked up the phone… He was knocking on my door fifteen minutes later." A smile brushed Kate's lips thinking about how much he cared about her. She didn't speak a single word but he knew exactly what she needed. "He just stood there, holding me while I cried, telling me it was ok to break sometimes. He spent the night with me."

Burke nodded. "I see. He's always been very supportive."

"Yes, he's always there…" Kate laughed softly, her thoughts somewhere else. "Always…" She whispered.

The look in her eyes and the loving expression on her face gave her away, but that was something Dr. Burke couldn't point. He couldn't tell her. It was something she had to see herself.

"Sometimes I hate him for it. It makes it all so complicated…" She said suddenly.

Dr. Burke frowned a little confused. "What does he make complicated?"

Kate snorted. "Everything! If he wasn't this way, if he wasn't so wonderful I wouldn't feel like I do, and then, everything would be so much simple." She ran her hands along her hair and rubbed her face, joining her palms in front of her nose.

"And, how do you feel, Kate?" Burke asked, knowing they were getting to unknown territory.

"Confused. Scared. But mostly… I feel happy when he's around, and that's absolutely new for me." She paused. "No one had ever made me feel so many things at the same time."

The doctor stopped writing again and looked at her in the eyes. "And that's bad?"

Kate shook her head. "No. But I don't know how to deal with it. I've been hiding the truth for so long that now I don't know how to let it out."

"You mean that you heard his words back then?" Burke asked, just to be sure what she meant.

"Yes. I want to tell him. Have wanted to do it for a while, but every time I make the decision I just can't do it, cause I know it's going to hurt him. I know he's going to feel betrayed, and there's nothing I can do or say to make that better." Tears were threatening to fall again, but she took a deep breath and pushed them back. "How is he going to believe me when I tell him I feel the same, when I've been lying to him for almost a year?"

"So, you love him?" Burke asked.

She couldn't stop the laugh. "Do you really need to ask?"

The doctor smiled. "No. But I think you need to say it. I think you need to hear it out loud. Make it real."

Kate nodded. She took a moment and then she let it out. "I do. I love him."

TBC.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thanks a lot for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. I'd love to know your opinion about this. Do you think it's being realist? Are the characters OOC? Do you think the case is too complicated? Can you follow it easily? Any suspects? Just whatever crosses your mind is fine with me :)


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Hi there, guys! Sorry for the delay, but real life is taking most of my time, lately :P Anyway, I'm here with a new chapter that I hope you'll all enjoy.

Thanks to all of you, beautiful people, who read this and add it to alerts and favs and sometimes, when you feel generous, even leave a review. I love you all. You really make my day :)

Thanks to my dear partner, Purplewaters. She's patient, sweet and a hardcore Castle fan like me with a huge talent for coming up with the greatest plots. You rock, girl!

Again, I'm trying my best to improve my grammar, seriously! If you find anything in there that you think I should change, please let me know. I want to do my best :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

The ride back to the precinct was long due to the heavy traffic, and it gave Kate a lot of time to think about what had happened at her session with Dr. Burke.

She had known about her feelings for a long time. It was not new to her that she had fallen head over heals in love with Castle long time ago. She was sure about that and she was ok with it, but putting it into words, making it come out of her mouth in front of another human being, made it real. Too real. And somehow, it felt wrong, because he should have been the first one to know. He should have been the first one to hear those three little words come out of her lips for the very first time, and that made her feel guilty.

She had been hiding too many things from him lately and it wasn't fair. She had always been the one talking about honesty and truth, and there she was - good reasons for doing it or not - lying to her best friend, her partner, the man she was in love with.

It needed to come to an end. She had to let him know. She had to come clean as soon as possible.

Kate took a deep breath, holding onto the wheel for dear life, and made a decision. That night. That night she would tell him the truth and face the consequences, whatever they were. It was time.

* * *

><p>Kate walked into the bullpen ten minutes before 2 pm. She spotted Ryan and Castle talking to Velasquez in the break room. They were all laughing, probably at one of Rick's bad jokes.<p>

She looked at Castle, a soft smile in her face and, right then, one word popped into her mind. 'Tonight'. As if feeling her eyes on him, Castle found her gaze with his and mirrored her smile, moving fast to the coffee machine to receive her with her favorite brown liquid.

Beckett reached the break room greeting Ryan and Velasquez with a nod and walking directly towards Castle, who was already handing her a steaming cup of coffee. Her face beamed when she took the cup from his hand and he gave her a broad smile.

"Thanks, Castle. I needed it." She said before taking a long sip.

"Yeah. I imagined. Everything ok?" He asked, narrowing his eyes as if trying to muffle her reaction.

Her eyes flew to his in a second. Then she smiled. "Yes. Fine. Thanks."

Ryan joined them and they went back to business, talking about the case and the few leads they were following.

They were all taking their seats back in the bullpen when Esposito rushed to Beckett's desk with his phone to his ear.

"They got her!" He yelled.

Beckett frowned and shared a startled look with both Ryan and Castle. "Who?"

Espo took a breath and hung up the phone. "The cousin. They got her. Uniforms are bringing her now."

"Something, at last!" Beckett said, clapping her hands just once. "Ok, guys. Let's get ready."

* * *

><p>Nadja Krokov was short, extremely thin and had very light and very long blond hair. She was beautiful in a literal 'doll face' kind of way. Her young, sweet features and her tiny frame made her look even younger than she was, but her eyes, the way they sparkled, the darkness behind them… They told another story.<p>

Castle and Beckett were sitting in front of the girl, looking at her as she ate some pizza and a muffin. The uniforms had found her when she was about to get into a plane to Los Angeles. She had put up a fight - one of the officers that caught her went back home with his 'parts' and his pride a little sore – but had agreed to go with them if they gave her something to eat. So there she was now, drinking a can of soda and engulfing a slice of pizza bigger than her head.

When she was done Castle handed her a napkin and Beckett started the interrogation.

"Well, Nadja, we've been looking for you for a while. Where have you been?" Kate asked, trying to make things a little easier for the girl, before asking about the night of the murder.

"Hiding." Was all she said.

Beckett let out a long breath and pursed her lips. "Where? Why were you hiding?"

The girl shrugged. "I scared. People looking for me. I not want to go home." She said in her rudimentary English.

Castle was moved by the girl's words, she was almost Alexis' age and she really looked scared. "We know you ran from home, Nadja. Where's your boyfriend?" He asked.

Nadja's eyes opened wide and started looking around, panic invading her face. "Andrei here? I must go. Please! Let me go!" She yelled, standing up from her chair and trying to get to the door.

Beckett stopped the girl holding her by the shoulders. She touched Nadja's jaw with one hand, making her look at her in the eyes. "Nadja, look at me. Relax, ok? You're safe here. No one's going to hurt you." When she felt the girl relaxing a little, Kate took her back to her seat. "Why are you scared of your boyfriend? Has he done anything to you? Is that why you were leaving the city alone?"

"I always alone! I leave country because of Andrei. I running from him." The girl stated, still frightened.

"But…" Castle started, not knowing how to go on. "We thought he was with you. Didn't you run away with him?"

Nadja looked at him as if he was absolutely crazy. "Run away with him? He try to sell me! I steal the money the men give him and fly to Boston. I come here looking for my cousin. She help me." The girl explained.

Kate was confused now. Alina had told them a very different story. "Nadja, we've talked to your cousin. She told us that you ran away with your boyfriend because your parents didn't let you two get married."

"No! That a lie. Andrei bad man. I never marry him." She said, looking a little offended. "Why Alina say that? I tell her what happen."

"Nadja, have you seen Alina recently?" Castle asked.

The girl nodded, her eyes wide open. "Yes. Last week. She ask me a favor, tell me she can give me money to go to California if I help her."

Beckett frowned. She knew they were getting somewhere. "Help her with what?"

Nadja shrugged. "I follow a man and tell her where he is one night. She leave the money for me in a trashcan. I never see her again."

"She wanted you to follow a man? Did she tell you why?" Castle asked, now very intrigued.

"No. I know nothing. I follow the man to the club and call her. Nothing more." The girl finished.

Beckett took out a picture of Lazzaro and showed it to Nadja. "Is this the man she asked you to follow?"

Nadja looked at it and nodded. "Yes. That him. Rich man. I follow him two days. Nice wife give me money to buy food."

"They saw you?" Castle asked a little confused.

"Yes. I hungry and ask for food at building door when they go to a party. The woman see me and give me twenty dollars." Nadja explained.

It was Kate's turn to ask. "Did they know you were following them?"

The girl' shook her head and put on a smug smile "No. Me good hiding."

"So you followed Lazzaro to the club after the party and then called your cousin, but you have no idea why she wanted you to follow him…" Kate chewed on his bottom lip. "This is not very helpful, but it's something. I guess."

Castle was lost in his thoughts for a minute and then looked back at the girl. "Is there anything else you can tell us about Lazzaro, Nadja. Anything your cousin told you about him?"

Nadja shook her head again. "No. Sorry. I only follow the man and call. That all."

* * *

><p>After putting Nadja in custody – she was after all a minor and an illegal alien – they went back to checking all they had about the case.<p>

Castle was still upset about having to report Nadja to the authorities. "Are they sending her back to Romania?" He asked. "Who knows where she'll end up if that Andrei finds her…"

"I know it sucks, Castle, but it's the only thing we could do. Let's just hope she'll be fine, ok?" Beckett told him, squeezing his forearm to give it more emphasis.

Esposito and Ryan joined them at Beckett's desk to discuss what they had found out during the interrogation.

"Did you get anything useful?" Espo asked, showing his crossed fingers.

Castle smirked. "Define useful."

The cop's face fell to a disappointed wince. "Nothing? Oh man! I hate this case!"

Beckett chuckled. "Well, not exactly nothing. She told us that Alina asked her to follow Lazzaro, but she didn't know why. The night he was killed she followed him to the club and then called Alina to let her know where he was."

"So that's the phone call she made from the phone booth that night." Ryan added, putting the pieces together.

"Yeah." Beckett nodded. "It's obvious Alina's hiding a lot more than we thought. She lied about her cousin running away with her boyfriend and I'm sure she did it to make it more difficult to find Nadja. It would take us longer if we were looking for two people when she knew there was only one to find."

Castle grinned. "So, when are we arresting her?"

Beckett rolled her eyes at him. "We can't do that, Castle. We still have nothing solid on her. We know she knew where the victim was that night, that she left Whitman's building around the hour the murder was committed and that's she's lied about some important details, but we can't place her at the crime scene, we don't have a motive and neither do we have a murder weapon." She exhaled loudly. "Gates is going to kill us."

Right then they heard some turmoil by the elevator, people clapping and cheering loudly. They all stood up and walked towards the source of the commotion. Karpowski and her team were waving and high-fiving everyone, all of them grinning and looking happy.

"What's going on?" Castle asked to a uniform.

The woman turned around with a huge smile on her face. "They caught him; the guy who killed Gordon's wife. Karpowski arrested him an hour ago."

Castle's eyebrows jumped in surprise. "Wow! That's great! Wonderful, actually."

Beckett's face was a poem, her soul divided. She was so happy for Gordon. She really was. But at the same time she envied him. He had the closure. He had the reassurance that the guy who did that to his wife was going to rot in jail. He had all she had wanted for the last 13 years, and it hurt.

She could feel Castle's eyes on her, his burning gaze analyzing every twitch and every wrinkle in her face. "I'm fine, Castle. I'm happy for him."

He shrugged. "I know. But if you're not, you don't have to pretend with me, ok?"

Kate nodded, giving him a soft smile. Just when she thought she couldn't love him more, he said the sweetest thing to her and proved her wrong. Tonight, she thought. Tonight I'll really stop pretending.

After a while the excitement about Gordon's case subsided and they all got back to work.

"Ok, guys. We gotta keep on trying. Ryan, you take a look at Leonard Whitman's records again. Espo, you take Amanda's. Castle, you'll take a look at Alina's records and I'll check Lazzaro's again, see if we find anything new there." She noticed the three men's glares on her and she shrugged. "I just can't think about anything else we could do right now."

They all nodded and got to their tasks right away.

The hours went by and nothing popped up. They were all about to give up when Castle called them.

"Hey! I think I have something!" He said, suddenly very excited.

Beckett rose her eyes from her papers and made a sign for him to spill.

"There is something weird on Alina's financials. The record says she has three bank accounts but I've checked and we only have the details on two of them. The other one doesn't appear." Kate's eyebrow questioned him. "I remembered Ryan said that Whitman had been withdrawing money from his account and putting it into a secret one."

"And you think that third account we don't know about could be it?" Kate asked.

"Yes! We need to find that account."

Beckett smiled. "Well, Castle. I don't think that's something we can lose our time with."

The writer pouted. "Oh, come on! Think about this. She's been Whitman's assistant for over a year. A few months after she starts working there she seduces her boss, they start sleeping together and she gets access to both his personal and his work computers. She's a clever girl and she manages to start withdrawing money from her multimillionaire boyfriend's account to a secret one of her own…"

Beckett's eyes narrowed and she continued his theory. "She's careful, taking small amounts each time so it doesn't catch Whitman's attention…" She stopped. "What does this have to do with Lazzaro, Castle? She was stealing Whitman's money, not his."

Castle pursed his lips and shook his head. "Hmm. I still have to work on that."

Espo laughed. "Nice try, bro. But next time don't keep up my expectations." He said punching his shoulder.

"Yeah!" agreed Ryan, punching him in the other side.

Beckett laughed and shook her head at them. "Ok, it's late, guys. Let's go home. I'm sure Castle will have a better theory for us in the morning." She joked.

"Very funny, detective." Castle said, trying to look offended.

Kate stood up and started putting on her coat while she observed her partner. "Hey, Castle. Do you need a ride?" She asked, trying to sound casual.

He was surprised. She never offered him a ride out of the blue. "Uhm, yeah. That'd be better than a cab." He said with a grin.

She smiled and took her bag from the side of her desk. "Ok. Let's go."

This was it, Kate thought. Just a few more minutes and he would know the truth.

They walked to the elevator side by side, as they always did, but this time she knew it was different. This time she knew it could be the last time they did it as just partners or the last time they did it at all.

TBC.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Love it? Hate it? Tell me by clicking the link below :)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Hey there! Once again, I'm sorry for the delay. I've been sick (still am) since Sunday and, to be honest, my desire of writing was = 0. Also this chapter (too short, sorry about that too) is about Beckett dropping the bomb to Castle, and after Monday's episode, I didn't know how to write this. I just hope I've made it justice.

My thanks to Purplewaters, my loyal partner. :) Thanks for all your help, girl.

Thanks also to all of my wonderful readers. Thanks for adding this to alerts, favs and for leaving those nice and sweet reviews. You really make my days :)

And now, I leave you with the story. Any grammar mistakes are all mine. Sorry :( Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

Beckett pulled over in front of Castle's building and waited for him to invite her in. He always did. She didn't want to be clingy or pushy, and it'd be less suspicious if he asked her to come up, instead of her inviting herself to his apartment. He didn't disappoint her.

"Hey. You want to come up? It's been a long day. We could order in and have some wine. What do you say?" He asked hopefully.

Kate smiled and nodded, opening her door and getting out of the car to follow him. She didn't miss the surprised look he gave her when she agreed to stay. That he always asked didn't mean she always accepted. In fact, she hardly ever did.

They walked to the door, greeted his doorman and made the short ride up to his floor in comfortable silence. When he opened the door to his loft the voices of the two women of the house could be heard from the living room, muffled by the sound of the TV. Kate dammed her bad luck. She needed him alone tonight.

Castle walked towards the big couch where Martha and Alexis were watching a movie and gave each woman a squeeze in the shoulder.

"Night, ladies. What are you watching?" He asked, directing his attention to the screen.

Alexis smiled and took her dad's hand in hers. "Grams and I were feeling lonely today so we picked 'Love Actually'. True love still exists and is everywhere and all that… You know." The young woman explained to her smirking father.

"Oh! Best romantic movie ever. I love it!" Kate said, showing herself from behind Castle's back.

Martha leaned to her left, so she was able to look at her with a broad smile on her face. "Kate, darling! I didn't know you were there. Sit and watch it with us?" The woman asked.

Kate could see Alexis' face falling a bit, but before she could decline and as soon as the words left his mother's lips, Rick moved his partner towards the couch and made her sit.

"Of course! I'll order dinner while you girls drool over Colin Firth and Hugh Grant." Rick said, as he walked away with his phone in his hand.

* * *

><p>When they had finished with the Chinese take out and after watching the movie, Alexis excused herself and left to bed. Martha, on the other hand, joined them for a glass of wine, but was called by a friend and left before they could even start a conversation.<p>

So there they were, sitting on his couch, a glass of wine in hand and no one to interrupt them, at last. Kate couldn't believe the time had come. She had to tell him. Now.

All the courage she had been gathering all day left her the moment Martha closed the door behind her. How was she going to do it? She couldn't just say _'Hey, Castle. Remember when you asked me if I remembered anything about the shooting and I said I didn't? Well, I was joking! I do remember.'_ And expect him to laugh and shrug it off. This was not going to be that easy. She knew she was going to hurt him, but she also hoped he'd understand so they'd be able to start their for-so-long-postponed life together.

He was looking at her curiously while she argued with herself, his soft laugh making her realize she had zoned out for a while.

"You were in another galaxy just now!" He joked, making her blush at her inability to control her thoughts. "I've called you like three times."

"Sorry."

Her face changed from embarrassed to anxious in a second and he noticed. "You ok?" He asked.

Kate let out a long breath and nodded. "Yeah. I'm just… I need to tell you something…" She paused to try to collect her thoughts and some of that courage she had lost along the way. "You're going to be mad at me, but I need you to let me explain. I need you to understand. So, that means no interruptions, Castle."

He made an attempt to speak and she put a finger to his lips. "No interruptions."

Castle nodded his agreement and looked at her with wide eyes urging her to go on. His face reflected the curiosity, concern and apprehension she expected, and there was also a pinch of fear in his eyes that made her swallow hard before she started talking again.

"Castle, I lied to you. I've been doing it for a long time now." She could see how his brows joined in the middle of his forehead in question. He had no idea what she was talking about. "I lied about the shooting. I lied about not remembering anything." With just those two sentences she had broken him. His face told her, but she had to go on.

"That day at the hospital, when you came in to see me… I was such a mess, Castle. I just couldn't deal with any of it. Certainly not with your words." Her partner's face contracted into a painful wince, but still he didn't talk, respecting her previous request. She hated having to do this to him. Hated being the one to hurt him like that.

"When I came back you were so mad at me that I was scared that if I told you I had lied to you at the hospital, you wouldn't want to go back to the precinct. You wouldn't want to see me again. And I needed you, Castle." The hurt she could see in his eyes made her own wet. This was killing him.

"I know it was stupid and so very selfish after pushing you away for so long, but I didn't know what else to do." Another pause. He stood up and started pacing the space in front of the couch, his eyes focused on the hardwood floor.

Kate took a deep breath before she continued. "Later it was just too late. The lie kept growing and I didn't know how to stop, I didn't know how to change what I had been doing for so long. But I knew I had to. I had to stop lying and I had to come clean. I needed to tell you the truth." She took his hand and stopped his pacing, making him look at her. "I need to tell you the truth because… Because you don't lie to the person you love."

Their eyes kept locked for a long while and she could see the amalgam of feelings swimming in his blue orbs. He finally blinked and stepped away from her, running his hands through his hair.

"Are you finished?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Kate could only nod, hoping for a not too harsh rant.

* * *

><p>He was mad. He was so mad. It was all good at first, his anger was growing and the speech he was going to give her after was building slowly in his head. Until that last sentence. 'You don't lie to the person you love.' That had totally disarmed him.<p>

He was still mad, yes, and he was still hurt. But he couldn't give her a speech about honesty, throw in her face how bad her behavior had been, when he was hiding something as big and painful as what she had just revealed to him.

He needed to tell her the truth too, but the emotional condition of both of them was not exactly the best for him to let out another bombshell. So he had to wait.

Kate was expecting his rant, his anger to come out. Maybe a big fight, but nothing farthest from the truth.

"Kate," He looked at her with a strange grimace on his face. "I don't think I can talk about this right now. I think you should go home. We'll talk tomorrow." He said, turning towards his study's door.

Kate's eyes went wide in disbelieve. "What?"

"You heard me. We'll talk tomorrow." He said as nonchalantly as he could.

Kate didn't like the casual tone. This was not something casual. This was not some banal conversation they could just postpone. Again. "You're kidding me, right? I just told you I've been lying to you for months. I just confessed that I'm in love with you, and you want to leave it for later? What the hell, Castle?" She wanted to be done with it. She needed to know what was going to happen between them.

He walked the few steps separating them and invaded her personal space, his nose almost touching hers. "You've waited 10 months to tell me the truth. You can wait a day to hear what I think of it. Good night, Kate." He said, turning around again and disappearing behind his study's door.

Kate was left in the middle of his living room, a stunned expression on her face and a fast beating heart on her chest. She couldn't believe what had just happened.

After a minute to recover she put on her coat and shoes and left Castle's loft not knowing how to feel. They would talk. Tomorrow.

* * *

><p>Back in his study Castle was now nursing a glass of scotch. His smart board was on, the face of his partner haunting him from it.<p>

He still couldn't believe what he had just done. The talk. Their talk. The one that he had been waiting to happen for so long, he had postponed it. He had delayed it until after he confessed his own dirty little secret, not being sure if there would be any chance of having that conversation then.

Kate's lie hurt like hell. He didn't know something could hurt like that, but she had also said she loved him. Kate Beckett loved him and that was worth all the pain in the world. He could work on his pain. He could forgive and forget because she loved him.

It was his part of the lie that worried him. His secret was far more dangerous and personal. She had been living with that particular hell for almost half of her life and she wouldn't appreciate he overstepping once again. As much as he loved her, as much as he wanted to protect her, he knew she was not going to understand it easily. He knew feelings were not as primal for her. That his reasons for lying and risking his life were not something she was going to be willing to assimilate. But he'd have to try to explain. Tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I'm sorry to cut it here, but this chapter has been super hard to write. After Monday's episode I was absolutely clueless about how to manage this. We had it sketched like this in the script (I mean her confessing and him putting it off), but it's been very difficult writing all the situation and all the feelings knowing what happened in the 'real' world. Anyway, I hope this doesn't suck too much. Thanks for reading!

**I'd really - from the bottom of heart – appreciate some feedback about this chapter. I need to know what you guys think. Please?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Hello my friends! I'm back again! (Yes, I'm not dead) My grandmother decided to spend her Easter holidays at the hospital and well, I decided to join her, so yeah, here we are, having fun. (She's doing pretty well now :))

She'll be locked in here for at least five more days so I guess I'll bring my laptop and write something, probably next chapter to this. I hope.

So, thanks to Purplewaters, my wonderful partner and co-creator of this story. You made a great work with this plot. Thanks to all of you, faithful and unfaithful readers for being there. I love you all! Thanks to those of you who alert, fav and review. (You guys are my favorite, but shush! Don't tell anyone!) And, thanks too to all of you sending good wishes to my grams. You guys are great! (I already let you know about her condition on my one shot 'Always, I know').

Ok, too long AN, I know… Sorry. Now enjoy the chapter and please, let me know what you think :)

As always, I'm so sorry about the grammar errors and mistakes you may find in there... I try to do my best :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Beckett was writing angrily on the old case report she was filling up. The boys were still checking on everything they had about Alina while she had been going through all the information they had on Leonard Whitman again – Ryan had suggested that he might have used Alina and her cousin to get to Lazzaro and kill him. – But she had found nothing and had busied herself with some overdue paperwork.

She was mad, but the case had nothing to do with it. She hadn't slept a minute that night and just thinking about her partner made her stomach lurch. He hadn't shown up yet and it was almost noon, which made her feel a little uneasy. She might be mad at him but she still loved him and, not knowing what was going on with him, worried her.

The boys came by her desk with their coffees in hand telling her they needed a break. She just nodded at them and let them talk between them while she went on with her paperwork. She needed to keep her mind occupied if she wanted to remain sane.

* * *

><p>Castle woke up with his face stuck to a piece of paper that was lying on his desk, where he had fallen asleep the night before, or to be more precise, in the early morning.<p>

His brain was pumping inside his skull, making the task of opening his eyes much more difficult than it should be. Great. A hangover. That was exactly what he needed right now.

The moment he was able to move and get up from his writer's chair, he was faced with his smart board and Beckett's smiling face. The events of the night before came to him like a slap in the face and he had to sit back down. This was going to be a tough day.

After a couple of minutes to compose himself, he left his study and walked to his bathroom. A shower would help him to wake up and get rid of part of that annoying headache. A couple of aspirins would do the rest.

It was 9:30 when he found himself dressed and ready to leave, but he just couldn't. Just the thought of having to spend all day at the precinct with Kate made him sick to his stomach.

He was mad at her because she had lied to him. He was dying to grab her and kiss her senseless because she loved him. He was furious and willing to have a screaming contest with her because he knew she was mad at him too. He was scared and wanted to let earth swallow him because he still had to confess his own sins and he was not ready.

So he just stood there, in the middle of his living room, keys in hand and coat on, trying to find the courage to walk out the door and face whatever had to come.

* * *

><p>It took him almost two hours to talk himself into walking out the door of his loft and another one to get the courage to go into the precinct.<p>

The elevator ride felt like lightning and in a second he was walking towards Beckett's desk with just one cup of coffee in hand. She noticed. The glare she gave him and the sad wince that followed told him that it had hurt her. He didn't know if he should feel proud or ashamed. What was he trying to do, anyway?

He sat on his chair and mumbled a low 'morning'.

"How nice of you having the kindness to grant us with your presence today. We could have used some help this morning, by the way." She said without moving her eyes from the form she was filling.

"Why, you got something?" He asked on a stingy tone.

Her glare pierced his skin. "No." She replied as drily as she could. Then she got up and went to the break room to get her own coffee.

Kate observed him from the break room's window trying to decipher what was going on in that crazy and overactive mind of his. She knew he had all the right to be mad at her for what she had done, but she still couldn't believe that he had taken her love confession so lightly. He had just brushed her off the night before; as if he didn't care she loved him. But that was not the problem, because she knew he cared. She knew he loved her too and what had knocked her out was that she wasn't expecting his reaction at all. She had expected a fight. Yelling, anger, passion, cause that meant they were dealing with it, but right then, all they were doing was avoiding it and they needed to stop avoiding things.

* * *

><p>As the day went on, the situation between Kate and Castle became even more tense. They snapped at each other for no reason, making Esposito and Ryan mediate in their stupid little fights every five minutes, and when they were not arguing they didn't even look at each other.<p>

The two detectives were clueless about what was going on with their partners and they knew better than to ask about it. They faced the storm and went with it, at least until any of them seemed calm enough to be submitted to an interrogation.

When Beckett suggested that maybe Lazzaro's death could have been a simple mug gone wrong and Castle laughed mockingly in her face saying that she surely had lost her mind, Ryan and Esposito rose form their seats and walked out of the meeting room, expecting the mother of all fights to take place there.

Nothing farther from reality…

Beckett just remained sat on her chair, looking at Castle with the burning depths she had for eyes in that moment. She was tired of it. She was not going to spend her energy fighting with him anymore. That was it.

Castle could read her like a book and he knew that was the moment he had crossed the line, so trying to avoid more confrontation, he stood up and left the room without looking back.

When Kate came out looking for the boys, they told her Castle had left, but that there was a note waiting for her in her desk, so she went to read it.

'_Kate,_

_We still need to talk. Please, meet me at my place when you get out._

_R.C._

_P.S: You should check the phone booth's video around the murder's time. Maybe you find something there._'

Beckett put the note inside the first drawer of her desk and called Ryan.

"Hey. Do we still have the videos from the phone booth?" She asked a little excited. She hadn't thought about the possibility of finding anything there, but maybe Castle's idea wasn't that crazy.

Ryan nodded a little confused. "Yes. Why?"

Kate bit on her lip. "Castle thinks there could be anything there. We don't lose anything checking."

"Ok…" Ryan said frowning. He couldn't understand the sudden interest on Castle's ideas when she had been mocking him and jumping to his jugular all day.

* * *

><p>At last, that same evening, after a long week of fruitless work, they broke the case. Castle's idea turned out to be very helpful and Esposito had been able to trace that invisible bank account they had been wondering about.<p>

They had brought Leonard Whitman and Alina to interrogate them, each for very different motives. Ryan and Esposito took Whitman while Beckett questioned the young woman.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

_Interrogation room 1:_

"Alina, do you know why you're here?" Kate asked.

The woman looked at her confused and a little scared. "No." She replied.

The detective nodded and sat in front of her, placing a folder on the table and looking in the suspect's eyes.

"Ok. Let me explain it to you." She opened the folder extracting Nadja's statement and showing it to her. "This is your cousin's statement on how you lied to us when you told us she had asked you for money because she eloped with her boyfriend, who actually, was the person she was hiding from. On the contrary, she told us that you **hired** her to spy on Ronald Lazzaro, but she had no idea why. Would you mind to enlighten me, Alina?"

The girl's blue eyes were wide and perplexed. She licked her lips twice and then took a deep breath. "I… Leo was worried. He told me his wife had mentioned she wanted the divorce and he couldn't afford that. I just wanted to know what those two were up to. Find out something to calm Leo. He was going crazy…"

Beckett's expression didn't change a bit. "And that was it? Finding something that would put Leo's worries to rest?" Kate's eyes narrowed. "Isn't that going through a lot of trouble for just some information?" She asked.

"No. If something I've leant from my job detective, is that information can be vital." Alina said with a very firm look in her eyes.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

_Interrogation room 2:_

Esposito was pacing the room while Ryan was sitting in his chair, looking at Whitman with calm eyes.

The blue eyed cop put a paper in front of the older man and pointed to a number written there. "So, Mr. Whitman, could you please tell us why were you hiding this account so efficiently? It's taken us all week to find it."

Leo looked at the paper and frowned. "What account? I… I had no idea about this!"

Esposito laughed. "Yeah, sure. You had no idea."

"I did not!" Whitman yelled. "I may look like an unscrupulous businessman but I never lie. Ever. And even less about money."

Ryan stood up and joined Espo in one side of the room. " So, what you're telling us is that you had no idea this account existed?"

Whitman nodded still looking at the piece of paper with a thoughtful expression. Probably trying to think about who could have done something like that.

"Then who withdrawn small amounts of money from your main account every week and transferred it there? The elves?" Espo mocked him. "We know you are the only one authorized to operate your bank accounts, so cut the act, Leo."

Whitman winced at Esposito's use of his short name. He rubbed his forehead and shook his head steadily in thought. "I didn't do it! I had no idea that account existed, how would I put money in it?"

Ryan sat on his chair again, trying to play his 'good cop' part as best as he could. "Ok, Mr. Whitman. Is there any way anyone could have done this without you knowing? Does anyone have access to your computers, passwords, anything?"

"Well, yes. My wife has access to both things." Leo took the piece of paper Ryan had shown him before and took a look at the numbers. "But, this is weird. I mean, she wouldn't go through so much trouble for that kind of money. She spends four times the total on a 'shopping day'."

Ryan nodded and took the paper from Whitman's hands. "Nobody else?"

Whitman shook his head but suddenly his face changed. He was red with anger and his hands were into fists. "That little bitch!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

_Interrogation room 1:_

Beckett was listening to Alina, while the young woman explained to her why she had lied when they asked her about the phone call she received the night of the murder, when someone knocked on the door.

"Hey, Beckett! You have a second?" Esposito asked, his head showing through the gap between the door and it's frame.

The detective nodded and excused herself with the suspect. "I'll be right back." She said, walking out the door and into the observation room right behind Espo. "What's up, guys?"

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, after talking to Esposito and Ryan, Beckett went back to the interrogation room.<p>

"Sorry for the interruption. We needed to collate some new leads on the case."

"Sure" Alina replied, playing with her hands nervously.

Beckett pulled out a paper from a new folder. "Do you recognize this?" She asked the girl pointing to the bank statement she had put under her eyes.

Alina's face went white. "No."

Kate looked at her through thick eyelashes, eyes narrowed and a satisfied little smirk curling her lips. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" The girl yelled, nodding persistently. "I don't know what this is."

Beckett nodded once and then turned on the TV in the corner of the room. "And that? You don't recognize that either?"

The young woman's eyes went wide and her mouth hung open. "Yes, that's… That's me."

"Exactly, that's you at mere 100 yards from the crime scene, the same night and around the same time it happened." The detective stated.

"I told you. I went there to leave the money for Nadja!" Alina replied. She was getting nervous.

Beckett smiled. "Yeah, you told us. But that's not what happened according to your cousin. Nadja told us that she was scared to be there at night because she could see the crime scene police tape from the corner she was waiting at. There couldn't be any crime scene tape that night, which means you paid her the day _after_ the murder, and not that same night. So, can you please explain to me what were you doing last Friday night at 12:52 am so close to the crime scene?"

Alina's expression became blank and the look in her eyes went from frightened to daring in a second. "So what if I was there that night? You have nothing against me. You can't proof that I killed anyone."

"Oh, but I can." Beckett shot back. She pointed to the paper she had shown her before. "And I can tell you why you did it." The detective sat down in front of the girl and started 'narrating'. "See this bank statement? It's telling me that you, taking advantage of your relationship with your boss, opened a new account on his name and started withdrawing small amounts of money from his personal accounts every week. Apart from that, you benefited of credits cards, a wonderful apartment and a nice car, all paid by Mr. Whitman, of course. When he told you his marriage was about to sink because his wife knew about your little affair and how would that affect his 'economic situation', you decided to take action on the matter. You knew that if his wife stayed all the money stayed too, and, how do you make that happen? You kill Lazzaro so she has no one to leave Leonard for."

Alina shook her head and laughed. "This is ridiculous! You have nothing but conjectures. Nice story detective, but I think you should leave that to your partner…"

Beckett snorted. "Yeah, maybe you're right about that. But, about my theory? I have evidence. My people have been searching your apartment and your office while you've been here, and guess what they've found? They've tracked you computer's record and they've found that you've been accessing to this bank account - the one you don't know about - and operating with it, sending money to another bank account in Romania. They've also found a black coat and a red scarf with gunpowder residue all over them and, last but no least, a Sig P 9mm pistol with a muffler, hidden under the washing machine. Do you think I have enough now?"

The girl's lower lip started trembling, her eyes filled with unshed tears and her hands curled into fists. "She has no right to take everything from him. She doesn't deserve all that money."

"And you do?" Beckett asked, her eyebrows knitting together. "There's something I don't understand. Why kill her lover? She could get a divorce anyway."

Alina smiled a wicked smile and leaned over the table, trying to get closer to the detective. "She wouldn't and she won't. I know women like her. They only care about the money and the man who provides it to them. If she left without another linnet waiting for her with his massive bank account, she'd be penniless in a couple of years and that'd be intolerable. Now that Lazzaro is gone she doesn't have any reason to leave Leo, maybe when she finds another sucker…"

Kate sighed and stood up, taking out her cuffs. "Alina Berchev, you are under arrest for the murder of Ronald Lazzaro."

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><p><strong>AN:** Ok, folks, that's it for now. Just one last chapter left to this, and I promise it will be 'tha bomb'! lol.

I have to say I'm not very happy with this chapter, but under the circumstances I can't ask for more. It's taken me half a life to write this (I was absolutely blocked in this story). I just hope the next chapter doesn't take so much time.

Anyway, let me know what you guys think about this. Pretty please?


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **And here I am again! Last chapter, people! This is one tricky ride, hold tight because we have a bumpy road ahead. You've been warned.

As always I want to thank Purplewaters for her help on this story. She's been the most supportive and most inspiring partner in the world. I don't know what would I have done without her brilliant ideas and her patience. This one's for you, girl :)

To all my readers: I LOVE YOU! You're the greatest. Thanks a lot for your support and for all those reviews, story alerts and fav alerts that made my day whenever I received them. You guys rock!

And now, it's time to read. I hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think, please. This is my longest chapter ever!

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

After taking Alina to lock up and preparing all the paperwork for the next day, Kate sat at her desk trying to gather all the courage and self control she could to face her partner.

It was already past 9 pm and she couldn't postpone it anymore. Putting on her coat and taking her bag from under the desk, she started her walk towards the elevator, her mind focused on what was going to happen in around twenty minutes time.

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><p>Kate was at his door. She had been there for the last ten minutes now, but she couldn't make herself move her hand and knock. What would happen after Castle let her inside his loft was a mystery, and yet she had the feeling that it wasn't going to end well.<p>

At last, her rebel limb obeyed her commands and hit the wood surface three times, hard and steady. The door was opened immediately, as if he had been waiting right next to it for her to knock.

He looked tired. There were deep dark circles under his eyes and his hair was all out of place, sticking out right in his crown and above his ears. If she hadn't been so mad at him, she would have found it extremely adorable.

"Hi. Come in." He said, stretching his arm and letting her inside.

She walked in and handed him her coat while she put her bag on the table by the door. "Hi."

Castle walked to the living room and sat on the couch waiting for her. "How's the case going. Any luck?"

"Yeah. We closed it. Thanks to you, by the way. That phone booth video was very useful in the end." Kate replied, trying to create a light mood.

He smiled and turned in his place to look at her. "Oh, really? Always happy to help, you know."

She gave him a soft laugh and nodded. "Yes." After a minute of hesitation she took a seat right beside him, keeping the appropriate distance. "It was Alina all along. It turned out that your first theory was right." She tried to joke.

"Yeah! That proves not everything I say is to be ignored or forgotten." His tone was nonchalant, but Kate could feel the venom in his words. He was angry.

"Seriously? Are we going to start the conversation this way?" She sighed loudly and stood up, running her hand through her hair nervously. "I was hoping to make this nice and easy, Castle. I'm really tired of fighting. You're pissed, I'm pissed and we both have the right to feel that way, so let's try to be adults about this, can we?"

"Sure. Cause you're the mature one here. Hiding from me that you remembered the shooting for over ten months." He said, raising his voice with each word he spoke. "I'm mad at you, Kate. And I want to be mad at you, so please, don't tell me how to deal with this."

Kate chewed on her lip and let her arms down in defeat. "Ok. Ok. You want to yell at me? Do it. If that makes you feel any better, go on. But that's not the thing, Rick." She was surprised at how easily his first name had rolled out her of mouth, without even thinking. "Just blaming me and making me feel guilty won't solve things. We need to_ talk_. And that means, you and me sitting one in front of the other, putting all our cards on the table."

Castle nodded and stood up. "I guess you're right. But I want you to remember what you've just said after I've shown you what I'm about to show you."

With that, the writer turned his back on her and started walking to his study, knowing she would follow. Once they were both inside he closed the door and stepped closer to her, searching for her eyes.

"You ready?" He asked, looking deadly serious.

Kate frowned, her heart pounding in her chest. "For what?"

He just shrugged. "I'm about to show you my cards."

Feeling her shudder under his intense look, he walked towards his desk and took a small remote from it. He pressed a button, and the huge smart-screen where he planned his books, came to life letting out his biggest secret.

Kate's face changed from confusion to surprise, to fear, to anger in seconds, making his heart clench. This was it. Now was when she ran away and they were done forever.

"Kate?" He asked, trying to get a reaction from her. He needed to know what was going to happen.

She took a step backwards.

"Kate, are you ok?"

Another step backwards.

Rick moved to her trying to decipher her expression. "Kate!"

She snapped out of her shock, feeling him getting closer, so she just turned around and opened the door, walking out as fast as she could to the front door.

Castle let out a loud snort, his arms falling to his sides in annoyance. "So this is you talking about it?" he yelled.

Kate stopped in her tracks but didn't turn to face him.

"This is how we act like adults? Cause, I wouldn't catalogue running away like a very mature thing to do."

She turned to look at him, but avoided his eyes. "I'm not running away. I just need time to understand what I've just seen."

Castle laughed. "Yes, sure. Are three months ok with you? Maybe six? A year? How long do you need, Kate?"

"You think this is funny, Castle? Cause I didn't see you laughing when you were the one in my place." She started walking towards him; her eyes now locked with his, letting him see all she could not put into words. "I kept a secret from you, but you've been doing much more than that. You've betrayed me. That's my life in there, Rick. It's not one of your stories. It's not a game!"

His eyes were burning with anger now. "Do you think I don't know it's not a game? Why do you think I've been doing this Kate?"

"You tell me, Rick. Cause really, I don't understand why would you risk your family's life and your own to do this, and hiding it from me, no less. _YOU_ asked me to stop. _YOU_ told me this was going to kill me, and now it turns out that you've been investigating on you own? It's _MY _mom, Rick. _My_ case, _my_ life. You had no right to do this."

Castle's jaw was tense, his teeth chaffing in frustration. "Maybe I had no right. But I had no choice, either."

Kate's eyes narrowed then, her face reflecting the confusion his words had brought. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"He called me and told me that I had to keep you away from it, that they would kill you if you ever started investigating again. You and Montgomery's family." He said, pacing nervously the floor between the kitchen and the living room.

"Who called you?" Kate asked icily, flinching at the mention of her Captain's name.

"He said he had information, and he must be some big fish, cause he was involved in the Mayor's conspiracy…"

"WHO called you?" She insisted, her patience starting to disappear.

"That's what made me change my investigation. I was looking among old NYPD records but he made me think that maybe…"

"CASTLE! WHO THE HELL CALLED YOU?" She finally yelled at him, trying to make him react and answer her question.

He froze. Her scream had stopped him mid step and he couldn't even blink. "I… I don't know."

"You don't know. Yeah, fine." Kate snorted, running her hand through her hair once again. "How the hell are we going to do this, Rick? How are we supposed to go through this if you keep hiding things from me?"

Castle tried to get closer to her, but she took a step backwards every time he took one forwards. "I'm not hiding anything, Kate. I don't know who he is."

"Sure."

"Why don't you want to believe me? Damn it!" He said, his hands in fists, trying to hold himself back.

She stabbed him with her eyes. "How am I supposed to believe you after seeing that." She said, pointing towards the study's door, where the insulting smart board was still on.

"So that's it? That's the way it's going to work? I make one mistake and I don't get another chance? Cause if I remember well, I'm not the only liar in this room."

They stared at each other for a long while; anger sparks flying between them, until Kate shook her head in defeat.

"You know what? I'm done with this." She said, reaching for her coat and bag and walking to the door.

Rick stopped her, grabbing her arm and making her turn to him. "You can't leave. We have to talk, Kate. This is not something you can run from, ok? I'm not letting you hide from this."

"Castle, let me go." She barked coldly.

"No."

Kate tried to escape from his grip unsuccessfully. "Let. Me. Go."

"Last night you said that you loved me. If you do, you'll stay." He tried.

Kate's eyes filled with tears but she kept pulling away from him trying to release herself. "Last night I said too many things that I'm not sure about anymore." She could see his heart breaking at those words, but she needed to get out of there. "Now, let me go."

Rick pursed his lips and nodded, making a superhuman effort not to cry in front of her. "Fine. Go." He said letting go of her arm. "Do your disappearing act, but don't expect me to be waiting when you regret all this."

Kate was already in the hall when he finished talking and he closed the door on her face. She stood there for a couple of minutes and then left, tears running down her cheeks and a big lump jumping up and down on her stomach.

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><p>Castle was pacing his floor, up and down and back again, his hands in his temples and his eyes closed.<p>

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." He mumbled over and over again. Suddenly, something behind him caught his attention and he turned around startled.

"Richard?" Martha called him, concern in her eyes.

Rick stopped, and by the look in his mother's eyes, he knew she had heard everything. "I ruined it. I completely ruined it."

"You both did a pretty good job with that." The actress admitted. She put a hand in his shoulder and looked at him in the eyes. "You can't let her run again, Richard. Go talk to her. Now!"

Castle shook his head and let out a defeated laugh. "And tell her what, mother? You heard her. She doesn't know if she loves me anymore. I don't want to play the best friend part again. I can't."

"Richard, that's ridiculous and you know it. She loved you yesterday and she loves you now. You don't stop feeling something the same way you switch off the lights. So, do both of you a favor and go talk to her, son. The sooner the better."

Rick took some time to ponder his mother's words. He knew she was right, but even if what she said was true, what was he supposed to tell her? He wasn't going to apologize for keeping her safe.

"Don't waste more time! Move!" Martha yelled, pushing him towards the door.

He just looked at her, nodded and reached for his coat. Before he stepped out the door he turned around.

"Wish me luck, mother." Then he smirked and winked at her. "If I'm not back in the morning, start preparing my funeral."

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><p>Kate was sitting on her couch, her knees up to her chin and her arms around them, making herself a little ball. Tears hadn't stopped falling since she had left Castle's loft and she doubted they would ever do.<p>

It hurt. It hurt really badly and she didn't know what to do about it. She wanted to hate him, she wanted to be able to stop loving him, but it was useless and she hated it.

There was a knock on the door. She almost stood up, but then somehow, she knew it was Castle and she didn't want to see him, so see sat back down and ignored it. A few seconds later there was more knocking, more insistent this time. She didn't move.

"Kate?" He called.

She shook her head and sighed. '_I'm not opening', _she thought. '_You can call all you want.'_

The knocking became more and more insistent, to the point that he was now slamming the door with his fists and calling her name like a mad man.

"Kate! Open the freaking door! I need to talk to you, damn it! Please!"

After a few minutes of yelling, pleading and begging, Kate heard one of her neighbors opening his door and warning Castle.

"Hey, buddy. You keep it quiet or I'll call the police, ok?"

Castle laughed angrily and faced the man. "She _is_ the police. Wanna try and call her, see if you're luckier than me?"

'_Whoa! He really must be pissed if he's getting on a fight'. _That scared her, she wasn't willing to have more problems with her neighbors and so she got up and opened the door.

"What the hell are you doing, Castle?" She said as she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside her apartment before he did something he would regret later.

"I needed to talk to you." He told her, looking at her accusingly.

Kate snorted and slammed the door shut. "And me not opening the door didn't tell you anything?"

He moved closer to her, his eyes daring. "Yes, that you are a stubborn know-it-all who doesn't want to hear what I want to say. But I don't care. You are going to listen to me you like it or not."

"Oh really?" She asked, taking a step towards him.

"Yes!" He said feeling courage coming back to him.

Kate took another step forwards. "And what makes you think that?"

They were face to face now, mere inches apart, both breathing heavily.

Castle took a deep breath. "The fact that you love me. No matter how much you're fighting it right now, you do. And I love you too, and just because of that I'm not letting this break us. So you can push me away all you want. I'm not going anywhere until you stop being a moron and talk to me again."

He saw a spark in her eyes and suddenly everything became blurry. Kate was kissing him forcefully, her teeth nipping his lower lip, pulling on it to make him open his mouth to her. It took Rick a moment to react, but when he did he matched her passion, one stroke of their tongues at a time.

He was holding her by the hips, stroking her waistline with his thumbs. Her arms were around his neck; one of her hands playing with the hairs in his nape while the other was tangled in the longer strands at his crown.

Rick started moving her towards the couch, trying not to lose his focus on exploring her mouth. They parted to catch some air and he moved his attack to her neck. He kissed, licked, nipped and nibbled on every single patch of skin he found, extracting the most incredible sounds from her. Hearing Kate Beckett moan his name was something he was not going to forget anytime soon. In fact, he would do whatever it took to make her do that as many times as he could. He knew he was closer to that goal when he bit down right where her neck met her shoulder and felt her shiver.

"Oh, Rick!" She whimpered.

Right then Kate hit the couch's armrest and they fell down. Kate on her back and Rick on top of her, their mouths locked together again.

They were getting hot, the warmth of their bodies emanating from them and raising the temperature of the room. Their hands became more adventurous and started seeking for skin instead of fabric. Kate got rid of his shirt with a swift move and landed her hands in his chest. Rick had more trouble unbuttoning her blouse until impatience got the best of him and he ripped it off her.

Feeling more and more ablaze he crashed his hips on hers, making her scream.

"Aah! Castle! Wait!" She moved under him, her hand reaching under her back. A second later she pulled out some kind of artifact. "The remote." She said with a grimace.

At that moment they looked at each other and they both burst out laughing. It took them a while to stop. Until laugh tears were clouding their eyes and they were not able to breath.

Kate looked at him and smiled, holding his hand in hers. "I think we need to get a grip. We can't do it like this." She said.

Rick nodded. "Yeah, you're right. We need to talk first." He agreed, taking her hand to his mouth and kissing her palm.

None of them wanted to start the conversation and they just stood there, hand in hand, waiting for their breathings to became more even.

At last, Kate broke the silence. "How long have you been doing it?"

Rick let out a long and loud breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Since you came back in September." He admitted. "This man, Mr. Smith, he called me. He told me that Montgomery had sent him some stuff he could use as blackmail to keep them away from you and Evelyn and the girls, but you needed to stop investigating. He said next time they wouldn't fail." He looked at her in the eyes. "I couldn't risk it, Kate. I couldn't lose you again."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "That doesn't explain why you kept investigating on your own."

He looked down to their joined hands. "I… I wanted to give you the closure. He said you couldn't investigate but he didn't say anything about me and after our talk in the swings… Maybe I was just being selfish."

Kate frowned at that. "Selfish? How so?"

"You said you wouldn't be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone until you put your mother's case to rest. I wanted to help you with that so you could be happy at last." He admitted.

"How's that selfish?"

He blushed a deep red, which make Kate laugh a little at him. "I wanted you to be happy. With me."

That won him a big smile, the one with teeth and all. "That was not selfish at all, Rick. It was just stupid. And it's all my fault for confusing you." She said rubbing her forehead. "You could have… God, you put yourself in danger, Castle. Not just you. Your daughter, your mother… What if you had found something that put them on your track? Do you think it'd be important for me solving my mom's case if you had died because of it? How do you think Alexis would feel if she lost her dad because he was trying to impress a girl?"

"That was not it, Kate, and you know it." He whined.

"Yeah, ok. I know it. You know it. But she doesn't. You really need to start using that head of yours, Rick…" She sighed.

"I have everything saved in a pen drive. I can give it to you if you want. Now that you know about it, it's kind of stupid doing this on my own." He said.

Kate swallowed and shook her head softly. "No. I don't want it. And I don't want you to keep on doing it. You have to forget about it, Rick. All of it."

He looked at her in disbelieve. "What?"

"Please. You have to promise me. I need to get away from it, at leas for now. I'm trying to heal and being around that case won't help me." The grip on his hand tightened. "Promise me that you will stop investigating until I'm ready. Please."

Rick nodded and pulled her in to wrap her in his arms. "Ok. I promise." he said kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you." She replied. The sound of her voice muffled by the skin of his neck. "Rick?" She called him.

"Mhm?" He was too lost in the scent of her hair to articulate a better answer.

"I have a question."

"Ask away."

"Why didn't you say it again?" She asked feeling shy all of a sudden.

He was surprised by the question, not knowing what she was talking about. "Say what again?"

Kate laughed. "That you loved me. I told you I didn't remember but you never tried to say it again. Why?"

"Oh, that." Rick smiled and took his time to think about it. "Well, at the hospital there was Josh. When you came back you made clear you weren't ready. And later… I don't know. I felt insecure myself. I didn't know if I was ready to hear that you didn't feel the same. I'm not good at rejection."

That made Kate laugh again. She reached for his face cradling it in her hands and bringing him closer to her. "Nothing farthest from the truth, Rick. I do love you. More than you'll ever know."

"I love you too, Kate." He managed to say before her lips met his again.

This kiss was even more urgent and frantic than the previous ones. They got carried away fast, their hands roaming every patch of skin they could reach. When Castle found the button of her jeans she let go of his mouth and stopped him.

"I think we should move this to somewhere a little more comfortable." She suggested, holding his hands in her waist.

He grinned and stood up in a second, pulling her with him. "Yeah, good idea." he mumbled, moving them towards her bedroom, the two of them a mess of arms and legs moving at the same time.

When they were almost at her bedroom door she raised herself on her tippy toes and sucked on his ear, making him stop in his tracks to lose himself on the sensation. A moment later she let go and started walking to her room. He didn't follow, still too entranced on her previous ministrations.

Kate stopped at the doorframe and leaned against it with a mischievous smirk. "You coming, writer boy?"

Castle blinked and gave her a smirk of his own. "With you? To the end of the world."

**THE END.**

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><p><strong>AN: **Ok, guys. That was it :( I'm kind of sad that this story has come to an end… I've had a blast writing it (not the last chapters, due to my personal situation, but still I've loved this) and I've learnt a lot with it. I've met some great people thanks to it and I'm really happy about that.

I hope you guys had fun reading this or at least you don't feel like you've wasted you time while doing it :P

I promise to be back soon with a new story. You can take that as a good thing or as a threat, whatever flips your boat… lol

As this is the last chapter and it's the longest I've ever written and it's 3 am and I have to wake up in about 6 hours, I want to ask you for a little review to tell me what you think about this chapter or the whole story. I'd love to know your opinion whatever it is. Feel free to express yourself :) Thank you!

TO ALL OF YOU: Thanks so much for reading!


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